ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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November 18, 2022I’m the Owner of the Car Aboard the Titanic, and I Demand to Know Who Had Sex in It
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November 17, 2022I’m a Middle School Boy, and I Refuse to Wear Anything but Basketball Shorts in the Winter
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November 4, 2022I Pledge to Accept the Results of the Election as Long as I Win
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October 28, 2022It’s Me, the Person Putting Drugs in the Halloween Candy
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October 21, 2022In This Housing Market, I’ll Never Be Able to Afford to Haunt My Own Home
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August 29, 2022I’m Frodo Baggins and I Think Destroying the One Ring Wouldn’t Be Fair to Those It Already Ruined
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August 26, 2022A Rebuttal to “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” By Me, the Woman Who Wrote the Personal Ad
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August 22, 2022Wake Up, You Lazy Skin Sack. I’m a Songbird and It’s 4 A.M.
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August 10, 2022I Know I Said I’d Walk Five Hundred Miles for You, But I Am Now Having Second Thoughts
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July 29, 2022I’m Stacy’s Mom, and Here Are All the Things I’ve Got Goin’ On
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July 20, 2022Big Baby Brody Calls It a Career
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July 15, 2022I Am Ariel the Little Mermaid, and I’d Like to Be a Fish Again
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers