Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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April 9, 2018I’m a Woman On Vacation Doing Yoga and Why the Hell Did I Do This to Myself?
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April 5, 2018I Am the Off-Screen Bathroom Renovation Project That Justifies the Male Lead’s Infidelity in This Indie Movie
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March 22, 2018I’m Truth-O, Your New Honest Facebook Assistant!
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February 23, 2018I’m Wayne LaPierre, and I Fight for Gun Rights Because Every Firearm Is a Sentient Being Containing the Souls of Our Ancestors
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February 9, 2018I’m Just a Misunderstood Marbled Crayfish (Overlord) Who is Certainly Not Planning World Domination
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February 2, 2018I’m Some Guy’s Ill-Informed Political Twitter Thread
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January 11, 2018The Sad Trombone’s Lament
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December 14, 2017Yes, And I’m in Love With a Straight White Man Who Teaches Me Improv 101!
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December 6, 2017Hi, I’m the Dad You Hate at the Baby Birthday Party You’re Obligated to Attend
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December 5, 2017I Am Raw, Selvedge Denim
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December 1, 2017I Am the Melted Skull of Nazi Major Arnold Toht, the Ruthless Gestapo Agent With the Burned Hand In Raiders of the Lost Ark, and I Appreciate Your Sudden Interest In My Thoughts and Feelings
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November 21, 2017Marina Abramović is Your Kid’s New Soccer Coach and the Team is Down by Nine Goals at the Half
Trending 🔥
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November 20, 2017Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell, Reimagined for Linguistic Transgressions
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January 24, 2020Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead
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January 14, 2020How to Buckle Your Baby Into a Car Seat in 36 Easy Steps
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January 21, 2020If Your University’s Administration Ran a Polar Expedition
Recently
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January 27, 2020The Joker’s Defense Lawyers: “Our Client Did Nothing Wrong”
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January 24, 2020Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead
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January 24, 2020Bumper Stickers For Tesla Owners
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January 24, 2020Virginia Woolf Gets Locked Out of Her Room of One’s Own