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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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August 17, 2020Hey Ladies, I’m Short, Balding, and Unemployed, But I Have the Antibodies
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July 27, 2020I’m a Lactation Consultant Here to Provide You With a Lot of Options But Only One Choice
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July 23, 2020I’m the Wife on a Prestigious Television Drama and the Drug Cartel Can Suck It
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July 17, 2020I Am a Pair of Eddie Bauer Cargo Shorts, and I Have a Tasteful Number of Pockets
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July 14, 2020It’s Time for Spin Class With Deborah, Forgotten Horsewoman of the Apocalypse
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July 9, 2020An Influencer Wearing an “All Platforms Matter” T-shirt Steadies Her iPhone For a Facebook message to her 3.4M Followers
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July 3, 2020It’s Time to Sign the Declaration of Independence, and I, Elbridge Gerry, Will Have the Biggest Signature of All
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June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
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June 17, 2020I Am an Emerging Writer and My Abdomen Is Filled With Fluids
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June 12, 2020Flag Day Desperately Hopes Trump Forgets It Exists This Year
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June 11, 2020I Am Liesl von Trapp and I Owe the Resistance an Apology
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June 5, 2020Senator Susan Collins Responds to the Federal Government’s Deployment of People-Eating Machines to End Protests
Trending 🔥
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April 26, 2021Vaccine Side Effect, or Have You Just Been Alive for 40 Years?
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April 13, 2021An FAQ About Your New Birth Control: The Music of Rush
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November 13, 2018If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
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May 6, 2021I’m the Judge Who Approved the Custody Arrangement in The Parent Trap, But in My Defense, I Didn’t Think They Would Go to the Same Camp
Recently
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May 7, 2021My Mother’s Day Gift to Myself Is This Dissociative Episode in Costco
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May 7, 2021Gregor Samsa’s DIY Mother’s Day Gift Ideas
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May 7, 2021We Need a New York City Mayor Who Will Take Mom to the Cloisters When She Visits
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May 6, 2021I’m the Judge Who Approved the Custody Arrangement in The Parent Trap, But in My Defense, I Didn’t Think They Would Go to the Same Camp