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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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November 13, 2020I Am Belphegor, the Demon of Sloth, and I Think It’s Time for Trump to Concede the Election
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October 30, 2020I’m Your Dead Movie Wife and I Have Some Questions
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October 29, 2020We Are Random Capitalizations, Words in ALL CAPS, and Incorrect Punctuation and We Endorse Joe Biden for President
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October 22, 2020To the Enemies Surrounding Our Castle, Please Understand That I Often Privately Disagreed With Macbeth’s Policies
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October 20, 2020The Woman From Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” Would Like to Clear a Few Things Up
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October 16, 2020I Am the Undecided Voter
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October 15, 2020I Am the Mayor from Jaws, and I Am Begging You to Stop Comparing Me to Donald Trump
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October 13, 2020I’m a Principled Republican Senator and I’m Suddenly Troubled By the Current State of Politics
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October 13, 2020I’m a Conservative Feminist, and I Believe You Should Pull Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps and Open That Jar Yourself
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September 25, 2020We Are the 56 Tubs of Clorox Wipes You Bought At the Start of the Pandemic
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September 22, 2020I’m the Guy Who Asks If Your Loved One Who Died From COVID-19 Had Any Pre-Existing Conditions
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September 18, 2020I Am the Protagonist In Every Lesbian Period Drama
Trending 🔥
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 7, 2021A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting That They Wear Masks
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October 9, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2021Wake Up Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax