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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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March 3, 2021I’m All for Letting the Free Market Decide Things Unless It Decides to Stop Publishing Racist Children’s Books
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March 3, 2021It’s Me, Your Former Junior High School Bully, and I’m Sorry to Inform You That Karma Hasn’t Caught Up With Me Yet
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February 26, 2021As a Staunch Defender of American Liberty, I Refuse to Let Trans People Infringe on My Rights as a White, Straight, Cisgender Congresswoman from Georgia
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February 25, 2021A Grizzled, Months-Old Chrome Tab Welcomes a Fresh-Faced New Tab to My Browser Window
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February 23, 2021Will Hunting on Why He Shouldn’t Get an MFA
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February 18, 2021American Infrastructure Checks In to Remind You That It Isn’t Actually Supposed to Work
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February 16, 2021I’m the Guy Who Wears Shorts in the Winter, and One Day You Will All Bow Before My Bare Weatherproof Legs
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February 15, 2021I’m William Henry Harrison, and It Seems You’ve Forgotten Me Again This Presidents’ Day
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February 12, 2021I, Cupid, Resign As Mascot of Valentine’s Day Because I’m a Baby and It’s Creepy
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February 11, 2021I’m Your Sudden Onset Adult Acne, and I’m Here to Destroy Your Face, Your Week, and Your Dignity
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February 10, 2021I’m Not Some Sort of Law Expert, I’m Just a Simple Lawyer Representing the Former President in an Impeachment Trial
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January 26, 2021I’m Being Censored, and You Can Read, Hear, and See Me Talk About It in the News, on the Radio, and on TV
Trending 🔥
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June 14, 2022My Favorite Controlled Substance Is Daycare
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June 17, 2021What Your Favorite ’90s Rock Band Says About the Type of Bored Suburban Dad You Are Today
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
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June 9, 2022Yes, I Would Be Positively Delighted to Throw Away Your Trash