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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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October 28, 2022It’s Me, the Person Putting Drugs in the Halloween Candy
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October 21, 2022In This Housing Market, I’ll Never Be Able to Afford to Haunt My Own Home
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August 29, 2022I’m Frodo Baggins and I Think Destroying the One Ring Wouldn’t Be Fair to Those It Already Ruined
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August 26, 2022A Rebuttal to “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” By Me, the Woman Who Wrote the Personal Ad
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August 22, 2022Wake Up, You Lazy Skin Sack. I’m a Songbird and It’s 4 A.M.
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August 10, 2022I Know I Said I’d Walk Five Hundred Miles for You, But I Am Now Having Second Thoughts
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July 29, 2022I’m Stacy’s Mom, and Here Are All the Things I’ve Got Goin’ On
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July 20, 2022Big Baby Brody Calls It a Career
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July 15, 2022I Am Ariel the Little Mermaid, and I’d Like to Be a Fish Again
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July 14, 2022I’m the Person in Charge of Printing Out the Entire Internet
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July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
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June 28, 2022I’m the Last Bottle of Ketchup at Mar-a-Lago and I Live in a State of Constant Fear
Trending 🔥
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
Recently
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian