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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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November 29, 2018I Am a Liberal Comedian and I Am Ready to Perform Ally-Ship By Calling Conservatives Gay Every Chance I Get
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October 24, 2018I’m Your Spaghetti Strap Sports Bra, and I’m Here to Sabotage Your High-Impact Workout
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October 22, 2018Hi, I’m the Lone Woman of Color in Your Book Club
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October 8, 2018I’m the Tech Venture Capitalist Giving You the Freedom to Barely Scrape By
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October 2, 2018I’m the 19th Cupholder In a Subaru Ascent and I’m a Very Big Deal
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September 20, 2018It’s Me, the Plucky, Unlikely Heroine of the Children’s Books That Defined You
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September 11, 2018I, Lucius Malfoy, Have Regularly Considered Leaving the Death Eaters
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September 6, 2018I Am Brett Kavanaugh, and I Believe the 2017 Academy Award for Best Picture May Have Been Wrongly Decided
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August 8, 2018I am the Composer of Veterinarian Hold Music
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July 17, 2018Patrick Bateman, American Millennial
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July 16, 2018Meet Your Cool New Boss
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July 13, 2018I’m Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees. I’ve Been Reading Feminist Theory and Won’t Be Killing Any Over-Sexualized Teenagers This Summer
Trending 🔥
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April 30, 2020The Girl From Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” Responds 18 Years Later
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June 26, 2020A Message from Your University’s Vice President for Magical Thinking
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June 24, 2020Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-759
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June 30, 2020Would-You-Rathers for Parents During Quarantine
Recently
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July 7, 2020My Toddler Emails a Complaint to Customer Service
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July 7, 2020An Open Letter to Straight Couples Who Have Been Quarantining Together After Only Dating For a Few Weeks From a Lesbian Who’s Been There Before
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July 7, 2020
This Has Been Happening Forever, But Never So Close to Me -
July 7, 2020I Do Not Choose to Write My 902-Page Fantasy Ninja Thriller — I Am Compelled To