The Believer Magazine
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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July 20, 2023Now I Am Become Pretentious, the Sayer of a Famous Quote
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July 17, 2023I Am a Monster Hell Bent on Destroying Earth, but Humans Are More Concerned That I’m a Lesbian
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June 8, 2023Carrie Bradshaw Reflects on the Smoke from the Canadian Wildfires
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May 30, 2023I’m the Epigraph to the Novel You’re Reading, and I Don’t Know Why I’m Here Either
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May 16, 2023I’m the Person Who Designs Open-Plan Office Spaces, Despite Never Having Actually Worked in One
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May 15, 2023I Will Defend Free Speech to the Death. Or Until an Autocrat Asks Me to Stop
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May 4, 2023Why God Decided Dogs Can’t Live as Long as People
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May 3, 2023If Elected President, I Promise to Slaughter Mickey Mouse
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April 26, 2023Inside the Mind of an AI-Generated Woman Laughing Alone with Salad
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April 19, 2023I’m Just a Typical British Man
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April 7, 2023I Am Noah and I Need to Look at Your Animals’ Pee-Pees
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March 6, 2023I Am New Hampshire’s State Motto. Please Remember You Can Die While Living Free
Trending 🔥
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes