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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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June 21, 2022Batman Contemplates the Non-Existence of Masturbation in the DC Universe
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June 3, 2022I Am a Carnivorous Kestrel Falcon with Postpartum Depression
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May 19, 2022This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Two of Us, Partner—So I’ll Just Leave Then. Enjoy the Town!
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May 9, 2022I’m the Producer of This Biopic and Here’s Why We Made It Despite Objections from the Subject, Their Family, and the General Public
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May 5, 2022I Am Your Marxist Hamster, and You, Land-Owning Pig, Are the Bourgeoisie
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May 3, 2022We’re the Supreme Court, and We Should Have Used Protection
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April 20, 2022I’m the High School’s Theater Director, and I’ve Precast Every Role in This Upcoming Production of Bye-Bye Birdie
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April 15, 2022Hello, It’s Me, Elijah. Who’s the Jerk Who Drank My Cup of Wine?
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April 12, 2022Jeff Goldblum’s Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1
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April 6, 2022From Now On, the Fast & Furious’s Dominic Toretto Will Only Drive a Honda Odyssey
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March 31, 2022Maggie May Has Something to Say to You Too, Rod
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March 30, 2022I’m Vincent Van Gogh, and I Painted That Way Because I Knew It Would Look Really Sweet on a Mousepad
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 15, 2023Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
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September 22, 2023Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns
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September 28, 2023A Template for Right-Wingers Upset with Taylor Swift
Recently
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October 2, 2023McSweeney’s Books: A Conversation with Dave Eggers About His Book, The Eyes and the Impossible
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October 2, 2023If Burger King’s Jingle “Whopper Whopper” Were the Only Literary Form
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September 29, 2023I’m Your Three-Year-Old Interior Designer and This Is Your New Home Makeover
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September 29, 2023Job Posting: Lead Bro for Vivek Ramaswamy’s Campaign