ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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October 11, 2023I’m Eliza Doolittle, and I’ve Made a Huge Mistake
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October 4, 2023Well, I May Have Debased Myself to Become Speaker of the House, but At Least I Didn’t Accomplish Anything
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September 14, 2023I Am the Lord Your God, and I Want You to Know That I Invented Boners
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September 12, 2023Mike Pence on That Time When the Insurrectionists Wanted to Hang Him
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August 31, 2023I, Kitty Bennett, Have Fallen for a Man Who Busted Out the Splits on the Dance Floor
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August 30, 2023A Few Words from Your AI-Powered Vibrator
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August 28, 2023Let Me, a Man Accused of Sexual Harassment Against a Football Player, Explain Feminism to You
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August 22, 2023How to Defuse a Bomb, According to My Mother
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August 15, 2023I’m Racketeering Charges, and I’m Here to Rock This Presidential Indictment-Fest Like You Wouldn’t Believe
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August 7, 2023Lindsay Lister’s Op-Ed to the Stars Hollow Gazette
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August 2, 2023I Am Trump’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer, and Once Again, I Have No Fucking Clue What Is Happening
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August 1, 2023Captain Ahab’s Third Hour Playing the Claw Machine at Dave & Buster’s
Trending 🔥
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian