Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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October 8, 2018Monologue: I’m the Tech Venture Capitalist Giving You the Freedom to Barely Scrape By
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October 2, 2018Monologue: I’m the 19th Cupholder In a Subaru Ascent and I’m a Very Big Deal
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September 20, 2018Monologue: It’s Me, the Plucky, Unlikely Heroine of the Children’s Books That Defined You
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September 11, 2018Monologue: I, Lucius Malfoy, Have Regularly Considered Leaving the Death Eaters
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September 6, 2018Monologue: I Am Brett Kavanaugh, and I Believe the 2017 Academy Award for Best Picture May Have Been Wrongly Decided
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August 8, 2018Monologue: I am the Composer of Veterinarian Hold Music
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July 17, 2018Monologue: Patrick Bateman, American Millennial
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July 16, 2018Monologue: Meet Your Cool New Boss
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July 13, 2018Monologue: I’m Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees. I’ve Been Reading Feminist Theory and Won’t Be Killing Any Over-Sexualized Teenagers This Summer
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July 10, 2018Monologue: I Am a Woman Who Wants You to Hock That Sweet Loogie Over My Way, Big Boy
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June 27, 2018Monologue: It’s Me, the Light-Skinned Black Girl In Your School’s Diversity Pamphlet
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June 18, 2018Monologue: Angela Chase from My So-Called Life, 39, Announces Bid for Congress
Trending 🔥
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August 12, 2019List: Critically Acclaimed Horror Film of the 2010s or Your Ph.D. Program?
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August 9, 2019We Need a Wizard Who Can Appeal to the Moderate Orc Voter
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August 5, 2019God Has Heard Your Thoughts and Prayers and He Thinks They Are Fucking Bullshit
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August 25, 2016I Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Write the Syllabus for Your Class
Recently
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August 21, 2019Summary of Benefits and Coverage For Your New Garbage Health Insurance
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August 21, 2019List: Love Languages of a Male Feminist
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August 21, 2019Your Townie Neighbor Providing Directions In Your Rapidly Gentrifying Neighborhood
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August 20, 2019The Book of Genesis’s Genesis: The Genesis of the Band Genesis