The Believer has returned
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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March 6, 2023I Am New Hampshire’s State Motto. Please Remember You Can Die While Living Free
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February 22, 2023I’m the Neighbor Kid Offering to Shovel Your Walkway Because I Know You Can’t Say No
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February 20, 2023It’s Me, Teddy Roosevelt, and by “Man In the Arena” I Didn’t Mean You, Spencer
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February 3, 2023I’m the Kid from The Red Balloon, and That Thing Over Montana Is Not from China
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January 30, 2023Miss Piggy Does the “Cool Girl” Monologue from Gone Girl
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January 27, 2023The Narrator of “Jessie’s Girl” Offers an Apology after Completing His Master’s in Women’s and Gender Studies
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January 26, 2023Peaches the Instagram Dachshund Wants a Cut
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December 14, 2022I’m the Dad in this Christmas Movie and Despite Overwhelming Evidence, I Still Don’t Believe in Santa
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December 12, 2022Small-Town Mayor Is Done with Visitors Looking for Love at Christmas Time
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November 18, 2022I’m the Owner of the Car Aboard the Titanic, and I Demand to Know Who Had Sex in It
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November 17, 2022I’m a Middle School Boy, and I Refuse to Wear Anything but Basketball Shorts in the Winter
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November 4, 2022I Pledge to Accept the Results of the Election as Long as I Win
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2023My Saturday Self Versus My Sunday Self
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September 15, 2023Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
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September 11, 2023Welcoming Remarks Made at a Literary Reading, 9/25/01
Recently
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 22, 2023Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns
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September 21, 2023Things That Count as Writing
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September 21, 2023Take Us to Your Leader, the One They Call Jake from State Farm