ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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May 23, 2024I’m Voting for Him, Not Endorsing Him—There’s a Huge Difference
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May 14, 2024I’m the Word “Utilize” and I’m Loving Every Moment of Your Overblown Rhetoric
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May 3, 2024I’m the Architect of the Death Star, and I Swear They Told Me I Was Designing a Military Resort
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April 11, 2024The Flu My Four-Year-Old Brought Home for Spring Break Addresses My Hope of Not Catching It
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April 10, 2024I Am Your Thirty-Fourth Browser Tab, Begging You to Reopen Me
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April 8, 2024I Am Batman, and I Will Restore Order to Gotham by Pulverizing a Man Robbing a Convenience Store to Feed His Starving Family
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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March 25, 2024The CamelBak Languishing in the Back of Your Cabinet Would Like a Word
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March 20, 2024I Am the New York Times’ Paywall, and If I Let Any Non-Subscribers in, They’ll Kill My Family
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March 8, 2024I Will Do Anything to Make This Movie Studio Profitable, Except Release a Good Movie
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March 5, 2024J. Robert Oppenheimer Is Gonna Party His Ass Off at the Oscars
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February 14, 2024As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
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May 15, 2025To the Dad Coaching Third Base, Wearing a “Women Want Me, Fish Fear Me” Hat