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Short Imagined Monologues

Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.

November 30, 2018

Monologue: I’m Hanukkah and I’m Living My Best Life So Deal With It

by Hanna LoPatin
November 29, 2018

Monologue: I Am a Liberal Comedian and I Am Ready to Perform Ally-Ship By Calling Conservatives Gay Every Chance I Get

by Garrett Schlichte
October 24, 2018

Monologue: I’m Your Spaghetti Strap Sports Bra, and I’m Here to Sabotage Your High-Impact Workout

by Kinsey Gidick
October 22, 2018

Monologue: Hi, I’m the Lone Woman of Color in Your Book Club

by Marisela Grajeda Gonzalez
October 8, 2018

Monologue: I’m the Tech Venture Capitalist Giving You the Freedom to Barely Scrape By

by Erica Lies
October 2, 2018

Monologue: I’m the 19th Cupholder In a Subaru Ascent and I’m a Very Big Deal

by Mayur Chauhan
September 20, 2018

Monologue: It’s Me, the Plucky, Unlikely Heroine of the Children’s Books That Defined You

by Ali Elkin
September 11, 2018

Monologue: I, Lucius Malfoy, Have Regularly Considered Leaving the Death Eaters

by Thea Raymond-Sidel
September 6, 2018

Monologue: I Am Brett Kavanaugh, and I Believe the 2017 Academy Award for Best Picture May Have Been Wrongly Decided

by David Bradley Isenberg
August 8, 2018

Monologue: I am the Composer of Veterinarian Hold Music

by David Hart
July 17, 2018

Monologue: Patrick Bateman, American Millennial

by Lina Abascal
July 16, 2018

Monologue: Meet Your Cool New Boss

by Evan Allgood

Trending 🔥

September 23, 2019

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by Colin Nissan
October 11, 2019

Comparative Media Studies 201: “Heterosexual Undertones in Top Gun”

by Max Davison
July 22, 2016

List: Who Said It? Donald Trump or Regina George?

by Amber Karlins
July 23, 2019

We Built a Giant Casino In an Economically Depressed, Opioid-Plagued City and We Can’t Understand Where All the High Rollers Are

by Christine Stevens

Recently

October 22, 2019

Excerpts from McSweeney’s Quarterly: A Letter From McSweeney’s 57

by Hanif Abdurraqib
October 22, 2019

Open Letters: An Open Plea to My Instagram Acquaintance

by Dylan Gelula
October 21, 2019

Monologue: I’m the Two to Three Years’ Experience You Need For This Entry-Level Job

by Emily Delaney
October 21, 2019

List: Elon Musk or Toad of Toad Hall?

by Harris Wheless