McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
September 25, 2020We Are the 56 Tubs of Clorox Wipes You Bought At the Start of the Pandemic
-
September 22, 2020I’m the Guy Who Asks If Your Loved One Who Died From COVID-19 Had Any Pre-Existing Conditions
-
September 18, 2020I Am the Protagonist In Every Lesbian Period Drama
-
August 21, 2020New York Is Gone Forever (According to Me, a Baby With No Object Permanence)
-
August 17, 2020Hey Ladies, I’m Short, Balding, and Unemployed, But I Have the Antibodies
-
July 27, 2020I’m a Lactation Consultant Here to Provide You With a Lot of Options But Only One Choice
-
July 23, 2020I’m the Wife on a Prestigious Television Drama and the Drug Cartel Can Suck It
-
July 17, 2020I Am a Pair of Eddie Bauer Cargo Shorts, and I Have a Tasteful Number of Pockets
-
July 14, 2020It’s Time for Spin Class With Deborah, Forgotten Horsewoman of the Apocalypse
-
July 9, 2020An Influencer Wearing an “All Platforms Matter” T-shirt Steadies Her iPhone For a Facebook message to her 3.4M Followers
-
July 3, 2020It’s Time to Sign the Declaration of Independence, and I, Elbridge Gerry, Will Have the Biggest Signature of All
-
June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
Trending 🔥
-
January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
-
January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
-
January 20, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056 -
January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
Recently
-
January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
-
January 22, 2021Eight Famous Poems Rewritten by Your Asshole Cat
-
January 22, 2021Now That I Am Old Enough to Enroll in Medicare, I Am Against Socialized Medicine
-
January 21, 2021I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He’d Immediately Implement Communist Rule