Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
NEW BOOK ALERT
It’s finally here. Our 680-page, three-pound humor anthology, KEEP SCROLLING TILL YOU FEEL SOMETHING: TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF HUMOR FROM McSWEENEY’S INTERNET TENDENCY is now available to order.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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May 2, 2019As a Wealthy Republican TV Pundit, I Am a Champion of the People and an Enemy of the Elites
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April 30, 2019I’m a Therapist’s Couch On a Movie Set and I Am Complicit In Reinforcing a False Narrative About Therapy
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February 21, 2019Hi, I’m an Empath Now
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February 7, 2019I’m a Woman in a Nonfat Yogurt Commercial
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January 30, 2019I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
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January 9, 2019Sally Sells Seashells By the Seashore Because the Government Is Shut Down and She Isn’t Getting a Paycheck
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December 17, 2018Just Let Me Have a Robust Debate With Your Adolescent Son
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December 12, 2018I’m The World’s Best Dad Because Once I Watched My Kid When My Wife Wasn’t Around
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December 5, 2018Hi, It’s Me, the Girlfriend of a Marvel Superhero Trying to Return this Used Car
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November 30, 2018I’m Hanukkah and I’m Living My Best Life So Deal With It
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November 29, 2018I Am a Liberal Comedian and I Am Ready to Perform Ally-Ship By Calling Conservatives Gay Every Chance I Get
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October 24, 2018I’m Your Spaghetti Strap Sports Bra, and I’m Here to Sabotage Your High-Impact Workout
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December 6, 2019People Are Flushing Toilets 10 times, 15 times
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December 6, 2019The Department of Homeland Security’s Preparedness Guide for Your Ten-Year High School Reunion
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December 6, 2019Memory Tricks for My Medications, or Why My Pharmacist Hates Me
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December 6, 2019Herr Drosselmeyer, It Grieves Me to Disinvite You and Your Nutcracker from Future Holiday Parties