Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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July 1, 2019I’m an Electric Rental Scooter, and I Didn’t Ask for This Bullshit Either
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June 25, 2019I Am the Quarter-Zip Merino Wool Sweater Here to Tell You, the Fleece Sweater Vest, to Step Off
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June 11, 2019I’m an Adorable Romper, and I’m About to Make Your Life a Living Hell
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June 6, 2019Hi, I’m the Loud American Guy At Your Hostel
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May 9, 2019Hey, I’m Beto, Your Dorm Resident Advisor
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May 7, 2019Hi, It’s Me, the App You’ve Never Used That’s Still Billing You
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May 2, 2019As a Wealthy Republican TV Pundit, I Am a Champion of the People and an Enemy of the Elites
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April 30, 2019I’m a Therapist’s Couch On a Movie Set and I Am Complicit In Reinforcing a False Narrative About Therapy
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February 21, 2019Hi, I’m an Empath Now
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February 7, 2019I’m a Woman in a Nonfat Yogurt Commercial
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January 30, 2019I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
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January 9, 2019Sally Sells Seashells By the Seashore Because the Government Is Shut Down and She Isn’t Getting a Paycheck
Trending 🔥
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November 20, 2017Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell, Reimagined for Linguistic Transgressions
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January 24, 2020Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead
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January 14, 2020How to Buckle Your Baby Into a Car Seat in 36 Easy Steps
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January 21, 2020If Your University’s Administration Ran a Polar Expedition
Recently
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January 24, 2020Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead
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January 24, 2020Bumper Stickers For Tesla Owners
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January 24, 2020Virginia Woolf Gets Locked Out of Her Room of One’s Own
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January 23, 2020The U.S. Department of Education’s Updated Student Loan Repayment Plans