McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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February 14, 2024As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
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February 7, 2024I Am a Boomer’s iPhone and I Will Not Be Silenced
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January 29, 2024I’m a YouTube Child Star, and I’m Probably Going to End Up President or Something
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January 24, 2024I’m “Flexible Instruction Day,” Formerly Known as “Snow Day”
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January 23, 2024I Am the Balance on Your Gift Card, Unknowable, Eternal
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December 27, 2023The Wedding Vows of Someone Marrying Their “Best Friend”
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December 20, 2023If Sam Wainwright Says “Hee-Haw” One More Time, I’m Going to Fucking Snap
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December 4, 2023I’m a Holiday Gift Guide Writer, and I Really Need You Pricks to Start Playing Backgammon
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November 30, 2023A Garnet Hill Lady Does MDMA
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November 21, 2023We Can’t Let a Couple of LGBTQ Broadway Performers Ruin Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
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November 7, 2023A Concession Speech by a Candidate Who Just Lost to a Dog Mayor
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October 11, 2023I’m Eliza Doolittle, and I’ve Made a Huge Mistake
Trending 🔥
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 17, 2025Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?