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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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February 18, 2021American Infrastructure Checks In to Remind You That It Isn’t Actually Supposed to Work
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February 16, 2021I’m the Guy Who Wears Shorts in the Winter, and One Day You Will All Bow Before My Bare Weatherproof Legs
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February 15, 2021I’m William Henry Harrison, and It Seems You’ve Forgotten Me Again This Presidents’ Day
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February 12, 2021I, Cupid, Resign As Mascot of Valentine’s Day Because I’m a Baby and It’s Creepy
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February 11, 2021I’m Your Sudden Onset Adult Acne, and I’m Here to Destroy Your Face, Your Week, and Your Dignity
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February 10, 2021I’m Not Some Sort of Law Expert, I’m Just a Simple Lawyer Representing the Former President in an Impeachment Trial
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January 26, 2021I’m Being Censored, and You Can Read, Hear, and See Me Talk About It in the News, on the Radio, and on TV
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January 20, 2021It’s Me, OLD GUY, the Undeveloped Character in Your Screenplay
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January 15, 2021Even I, Satan, Am Appalled at the State of the Republican Party
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January 11, 2021I’m 15th-Century Aztec King Ahuitzotl and I’m Kind of Uncomfortable with All the Human Sacrificing Going on Around Here
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January 8, 2021Dry January Is Shocked By Your Naïveté
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January 7, 2021I’m the 25th Amendment, and I’ve Been Waiting for This Moment My Entire Life
Trending 🔥
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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March 27, 2024Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job
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April 3, 2024Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment
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February 6, 2024My Comments Are in the Google Doc Linked in the Dropbox I Sent in the Slack