McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
October 22, 2020To the Enemies Surrounding Our Castle, Please Understand That I Often Privately Disagreed With Macbeth’s Policies
-
October 20, 2020The Woman from Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” Would Like to Clear a Few Things Up
-
October 16, 2020I Am the Undecided Voter
-
October 15, 2020I Am the Mayor from Jaws, and I Am Begging You to Stop Comparing Me to Donald Trump
-
October 13, 2020I’m a Principled Republican Senator and I’m Suddenly Troubled By the Current State of Politics
-
October 13, 2020I’m a Conservative Feminist, and I Believe You Should Pull Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps and Open That Jar Yourself
-
September 25, 2020We Are the 56 Tubs of Clorox Wipes You Bought At the Start of the Pandemic
-
September 22, 2020I’m the Guy Who Asks If Your Loved One Who Died From COVID-19 Had Any Pre-Existing Conditions
-
September 18, 2020I Am the Protagonist In Every Lesbian Period Drama
-
August 21, 2020New York Is Gone Forever (According to Me, a Baby With No Object Permanence)
-
August 17, 2020Hey Ladies, I’m Short, Balding, and Unemployed, But I Have the Antibodies
-
July 27, 2020I’m a Lactation Consultant Here to Provide You With a Lot of Options But Only One Choice
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
May 1, 2025We Oppose Income Caps on the Ultra-Wealthy, but We’re Totally in Favor of Limiting the Number of Dolls per Household
-
May 1, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Derek Mong
-
May 1, 2025Open Letter to the Guy with “Dad” in His LinkedIn Headline
-
April 30, 2025Our University Is Replacing DEI with Vibes and Vaguely Diverse Stock Photos