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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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December 18, 2019I Am Your Big Mouth Billy Bass, and I Only Sing Schubert’s “Erlkönig” Now
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December 16, 2019I Am Lady Macbeth, and Your Facebook Post About Your Kid’s Early Acceptance to Harvard Really Pisses Me Off
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December 13, 2019I’m the Duolingo Owl and I’m Tired of Your Bullshit
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December 9, 2019I Am the Final Question On Your Calculus Exam
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December 2, 2019I’m the Host of a Prestigious TV News Show, and I Invite You to Come On-Air to Bullshit Me
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December 2, 2019I Am a Patagonia Vest Warrior Who Conquers Digital Mountains of Excel Spreadsheets
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November 26, 2019I Am the President’s Pardoned Turkey. Please Kill Me
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November 20, 2019I Am a Trader Joe’s Parking Lot and I Am Here to Destroy You
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November 19, 2019I’m Pete Buttigieg, and After a Lot of Soul-Searching, I’ve Realized That I Am a Young Joe Biden
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November 15, 2019Slavoj Žižek Analyzes the Children’s Book Caps for Sale
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November 1, 2019I’m the Woman From A-ha’s “Take on Me” Video, and Life With a Comic Book Character Has Been No Fairy Tale
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October 31, 2019I Am the Nameless, Shapeless Fear That Haunts Your Nightmares, and Even I Am Exhausted
Trending 🔥
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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March 27, 2024Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job
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April 3, 2024Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment
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February 6, 2024My Comments Are in the Google Doc Linked in the Dropbox I Sent in the Slack