Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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December 15, 2014Monologue: Lance Kilmartin, the Yankee Candle Company’s Lead Scent Architect, is Going Through a Rough Patch at Work
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December 11, 2014Monologue: I Am a Police Officer Whose Use of Lethal Force is Perfectly Consistent
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December 10, 2014Monologue: A Stay-at-Home Dad’s Promise to His Son
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November 5, 2014Monologue: Peter Pan’s Middle School Assembly D.A.R.E. Speech
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October 29, 2014Monologue: The Reality You Must Accept Upon Setting Foot in My Chipotle
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October 17, 2014Monologue: Hester Prynne Hosts a Nail Art Party
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October 10, 2014Monologue: The Stand-In Cannon Player for Last Week’s Performance of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” Apologizes
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October 1, 2014Monologue: I Am Gary, Your Bed, Bath and Beyond Sherpa
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September 26, 2014Monologue: The Split Infinitive Begs for Mercy
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September 22, 2014Monologue: Glengarry, Bob Ross
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September 16, 2014Monologue: Alexander Graham Bell Has Had Just About Enough of Your Shit
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September 12, 2014Monologue: Botticelli’s Venus Wants You to Go Away
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January 9, 2019I Used My Wife’s Vibrating Dildo to Achieve My First Prostate Orgasm and Now I’m In Narnia and I Can’t Get Back Home
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January 10, 2019List: Top Dinner Suggestions According to a Three-Year-Old’s Eating Habits
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January 14, 2019The Life-Changing Magic of Keeping Absolutely Everything
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January 18, 2019FAQ: The Status of the Shits Women Have Left to Give