McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
October 10, 2014Monologue: The Stand-In Cannon Player for Last Week’s Performance of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” Apologizes
-
October 1, 2014Monologue: I Am Gary, Your Bed, Bath and Beyond Sherpa
-
September 26, 2014Monologue: The Split Infinitive Begs for Mercy
-
September 22, 2014Monologue: Glengarry, Bob Ross
-
September 16, 2014Monologue: Alexander Graham Bell Has Had Just About Enough of Your Shit
-
September 12, 2014Monologue: Botticelli’s Venus Wants You to Go Away
-
September 9, 2014Monologue: Yeah, Well the Weather Doesn’t Want to Talk About You Either
-
September 5, 2014Monologue: Tennessee Titans’ Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt’s Spirit Animal is a Football
-
August 20, 2014Monologue: A Few Words from Roscoe’s Italian Eatery and Café’s Human Billboard and Doomsayer
-
August 11, 2014Monologue: The Owner of Sharky’s Big and Tall By the Beach Addresses Some Nasty Rumors
-
July 8, 2014Monologue: I’m the Guy Who Ties the Scarves Onto Steven Tyler’s Mic Stand
-
June 26, 2014Monologue: A Few Words from the Scientist Who Invented Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet
Trending 🔥
-
October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
-
November 5, 2018Can You Find the Hidden Images In These 15 “Magic Eye” Photos?
-
October 31, 2018Why It’s Too Difficult For Me to Vote, and How Many Beers I Can Butt Chug In Under 60 Seconds
-
November 5, 2018Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-546
Recently
-
November 13, 2018So, You’re About to Turn 40: A Memo From Your Media or Tech Company’s HR Department
-
November 13, 2018List: If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
-
November 13, 2018Thanks for Sharing Your Unsolicited and Negative Opinion On the Internet!
-
November 13, 2018Key Ring Chronicles: Pragmatic Swiss Army Knife