Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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January 5, 2015Monologue: The Creator of Truck Nutz On What Inspired His Invention
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December 22, 2014Monologue: Noted Social Psychologist George Herbert Mead Analyzes Ugly Sweater Parties
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December 18, 2014Monologue: Serial’s Sarah Koenig On Santa’s Alleged Hit-and-Run Murder of Grandma
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December 15, 2014Monologue: Lance Kilmartin, the Yankee Candle Company’s Lead Scent Architect, is Going Through a Rough Patch at Work
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December 11, 2014Monologue: I Am a Police Officer Whose Use of Lethal Force is Perfectly Consistent
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December 10, 2014Monologue: A Stay-at-Home Dad’s Promise to His Son
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November 5, 2014Monologue: Peter Pan’s Middle School Assembly D.A.R.E. Speech
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October 29, 2014Monologue: The Reality You Must Accept Upon Setting Foot in My Chipotle
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October 17, 2014Monologue: Hester Prynne Hosts a Nail Art Party
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October 10, 2014Monologue: The Stand-In Cannon Player for Last Week’s Performance of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” Apologizes
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October 1, 2014Monologue: I Am Gary, Your Bed, Bath and Beyond Sherpa
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September 26, 2014Monologue: The Split Infinitive Begs for Mercy
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 5, 2019I Support Strong Women of Color Unless They Are Politically to My Left
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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April 11, 2017Anything Men Can Do I Can Do Bleeding