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McSweeney’s
Internet TendencyDaily humor almost every day.
Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
AWARDS! AWARDS! AWARDS!

McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern has won the 2019 National Magazine Award for Fiction!

Short Imagined Monologues

Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.

  • July 25, 2013
    Monologue: A Difficult Second Album Meets its Band
    by Kris Swales
  • July 11, 2013
    Monologue: Your First Short Story Speaks
    by Peter Kispert
  • June 21, 2013
    Monologue: The Higgs Boson Calls a Press Conference
    by Sarah Rosenshine
  • June 12, 2013
    Monologue: A Business Card Laments
    by Megan Cohen and Sam Bertken
  • May 29, 2013
    Monologue: I’m Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, King of the Fucking Sea
    by Jack Loftus
  • May 20, 2013
    Monologue: A Hypnotized Person Tries to Have Sex With a Chair
    by Chris Okum
  • May 7, 2013
    Monologue: A Few Words From a Genetically Modified Eggplant
    by Eric Hague
  • April 15, 2013
    Monologue: Terrence Malick at the Delicatessen
    by Chris Okum
  • April 2, 2013
    Monologue: A Government Wasteocrat Comes Clean
    by James Folta
  • February 26, 2013
    Monologue: White House Press Secretary Has a Few Words About the Secret Kill List
    by Alex Kane
  • February 12, 2013
    Monologue: Grandson, I Lied When I Said I Hurt My Knee in the War; It Happened During an Improv Scene
    by Spencer Ham
  • February 8, 2013
    Monologue: A Farewell Speech From the Monopoly Iron
    by Kate Hahn
⇦ … 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 … ⇨
Trending 🔥
  1. January 30, 2019
    Monologue: I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
    by Tom Ellison
  2. September 19, 2017
    If Bostonians Loved Other Local Institutions the Way They Love Their Local Sports Franchises
    by Michael Hare
  3. February 8, 2019
    List: Word Problems for the Race Conscious
    by Dymir Arthur
  4. February 4, 2019
    I Am a Pacific Northwest Man on Tinder and I Will Die If I Go Indoors
    by Sara K. Runnels
Recently
  • February 15, 2019
    How to Finish Your Dissertation Before the Heat Death and Gradual Extinction of the Universe
    by Ross Bullen
  • February 15, 2019
    List: Six Reasons Why You Should Vote for Me, Old White Man Corpse, in 2020
    by Emily Fidago
  • February 15, 2019
    Spoiler Alerts From the Passenger Scheduled to Sit Beside You On Your Next Flight
    by Rick Stoeckel
  • February 14, 2019
    Teasers for the Hallmark Channel’s Valentine’s Day Movie Lineup
    by Alex Leon
McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
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