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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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June 21, 2013The Higgs Boson Calls a Press Conference
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June 12, 2013A Business Card Laments
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May 29, 2013I’m Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, King of the Fucking Sea
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May 20, 2013A Hypnotized Person Tries to Have Sex With a Chair
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May 7, 2013A Few Words From a Genetically Modified Eggplant
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April 15, 2013Terrence Malick at the Delicatessen
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April 2, 2013A Government Wasteocrat Comes Clean
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February 26, 2013White House Press Secretary Has a Few Words About the Secret Kill List
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February 12, 2013Grandson, I Lied When I Said I Hurt My Knee in the War; It Happened During an Improv Scene
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February 8, 2013A Farewell Speech From the Monopoly Iron
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February 7, 2013The Half-Priced Hypnotist
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January 29, 2013Pat Sajak Tries to Talk Himself Into Going to Work Again
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May 21, 2020A Note From Your University About Its Plans for Next Semester
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May 15, 2020A University President Responds to Those Who Have Suggested the School Should Dip Into the Endowment
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May 12, 2020Here’s How Time Works Now
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May 6, 2020Sure, the Velociraptors Are Still On the Loose, But That’s No Reason Not to Reopen Jurassic Park
