Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
NEW BOOK ALERT
What the world needs is a 680-page, three-pound humor anthology. KEEP SCROLLING TILL YOU FEEL SOMETHING: TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF HUMOR FROM McSWEENEY’S INTERNET TENDENCY is now available for preorder.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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March 29, 2012Monologue: Ralph Waldo Emerson Pitches the Snuggie on the Home Shopping Network
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March 22, 2012Monologue: An All-American Percussionist’s Post-NCAA Tournament Game Recap
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February 22, 2012Monologue: An Abstinence Coach Struggles with Analogy
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February 13, 2012Monologue: My Wife Critiques My Plan to Quit My Job and Write the Next Horror Franchise
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February 8, 2012Monologue: I’ll Be Knocking Out Beautiful Poetry This Whole Goddamn Flight
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January 31, 2012Monologue: Exit Row Instructions for Passengers On the Space Ark
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January 23, 2012Monologue: Thank You, Small Section of This Country That I Temporarily Cared About
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January 10, 2012Monologue: Mitt Romney’s Haircut Will Not Be Denied
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November 16, 2011Monologue: Paula Cole Still Wonders Where All the Cowboys Have Gone
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October 12, 2011Monologue: Yet Another Unnecessarily Long Monologue By a Supervillain as He Prepares to Kill His Nemesis
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September 28, 2011Monologue: Aging Action Star Loses His Edge
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September 21, 2011Monologue: A Screenwriter Wonders How the Hell He’s Going to Come Up With an Original Plot for a New Episode of Law & Order: SVU
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July 15, 2019A Preschooler’s Guide to Managing Your Personal Assistant
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October 10, 2006Back From Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail And Discovers That His Bid For Tenure Has Been Denied
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May 20, 2019I Don’t Think a Woman Is Electable In 2020 Because Last Time Around the Female Nominee Only Got Three Million More Votes Than Her Opponent
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November 5, 2018Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-546