McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
May 31, 2018It’s Me, Melania! I Am Right Here! Everything is Fine!
-
May 2, 2018I’m Your Outdoor Dream Girl and Not an Evil Wood Nymph Who Wants to Steal Your Soul
-
April 25, 2018As a New Yorker, I Am Many Things
-
April 9, 2018I’m a Woman On Vacation Doing Yoga and Why the Hell Did I Do This to Myself?
-
April 5, 2018I Am the Off-Screen Bathroom Renovation Project That Justifies the Male Lead’s Infidelity in This Indie Movie
-
March 22, 2018I’m Truth-O, Your New Honest Facebook Assistant!
-
February 23, 2018I’m Wayne LaPierre, and I Fight for Gun Rights Because Every Firearm Is a Sentient Being Containing the Souls of Our Ancestors
-
February 9, 2018I’m Just a Misunderstood Marbled Crayfish (Overlord) Who is Certainly Not Planning World Domination
-
February 2, 2018I’m Some Guy’s Ill-Informed Political Twitter Thread
-
January 11, 2018The Sad Trombone’s Lament
-
December 14, 2017Yes, And I’m in Love With a Straight White Man Who Teaches Me Improv 101!
-
December 6, 2017Hi, I’m the Dad You Hate at the Baby Birthday Party You’re Obligated to Attend
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
June 17, 2025I’ve Figured Out What My Mayoral Run Is Missing: I Need to Start Sexually Harassing Women
-
June 17, 2025Minutes from the Latest Meeting of the Council of Landlords
-
June 17, 2025McSweeney’s Books: A Q&A with Tucker Nichols and McSweeney’s Art Director Sunra Thompson about the New Book, Mostly Everything: The Art of Tucker Nichols
-
June 17, 2025Welcome to WeStillWork, the Nursing Home for People Who Can’t Afford to Retire