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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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October 23, 2017I Am the Picasso of Wine and Painting Night
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October 20, 2017I’m a Millennial With a Microphone Strapped to My Head, So You Better Listen to Me
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October 2, 2017Hello, I’m the Token Precocious Child On Whatever the Latest HBO Show Is
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September 21, 2017I’m Diana From Anne of Green Gables and I am Fucking Drunk
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September 15, 2017I Am Sun Tzu: Please Do Not Renovict Me
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September 14, 2017I’m a Male Author Photo, Hear Me Brood
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September 11, 2017I Am a Successful YouTube Video Game Streamer and I Believe Racial Slurs Are Essential to Gaming
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August 31, 2017When It Comes to Tech Meetups, I’m a Three-a-Day Guy
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August 14, 2017President Trump’s Statement Following the Events in The Sound of Music
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August 10, 2017I’m a Teenager in High School as Portrayed By an Adult Woman On TV
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August 5, 2017I Love This Morbidly Obese Comedian and His Curvy Body
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July 29, 2017Top Gun’s Maverick Addresses the Application of the Term “Maverick” to Senator John McCain
Trending 🔥
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March 27, 2024Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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April 3, 2024Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment
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March 2, 2022Selected Negative Teaching Evaluations of Jesus Christ
Recently
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April 17, 2024The Boys Are Back in Town (for Johnny’s Funeral)
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April 17, 2024What I Thought My Life Would Be Like After Decanting All My Spices into Mason Jars
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April 16, 2024We Are Not a “School”—We Are a Hospital System with a Football Team
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend