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McSweeney’s
Internet Tendency
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
The Believer Magazine

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Short Imagined Monologues

Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.

  • December 2, 2019
    I Am a Patagonia Vest Warrior Who Conquers Digital Mountains of Excel Spreadsheets
    by Brisa Sylvestre
  • November 26, 2019
    I Am the President’s Pardoned Turkey. Please Kill Me
    by José Ferrer
  • November 20, 2019
    I Am a Trader Joe’s Parking Lot and I Am Here to Destroy You
    by Amy Estes
  • November 19, 2019
    I’m Pete Buttigieg, and After a Lot of Soul-Searching, I’ve Realized That I Am a Young Joe Biden
    by Evan Allgood
  • November 15, 2019
    Slavoj Žižek Analyzes the Children’s Book Caps for Sale
    by Ada Wofford
  • November 1, 2019
    I’m the Woman From A-ha’s “Take on Me” Video, and Life With a Comic Book Character Has Been No Fairy Tale
    by Lisa Borders
  • October 31, 2019
    I Am the Nameless, Shapeless Fear That Haunts Your Nightmares, and Even I Am Exhausted
    by Walter Jones
  • October 25, 2019
    I Am Your Pug and I Have Heard the Call of the Wild
    by Eric Feurer
  • October 21, 2019
    I’m the Two to Three Years’ Experience You Need For This Entry-Level Job
    by Emily Delaney
  • September 3, 2019
    I Am Amazon Cog #257 and I Love My Job Here at Amazon.com
    by Josh Vellequette
  • August 28, 2019
    The Giving Tree Gets Real
    by Linda Schlossberg
  • August 23, 2019
    I Am Marianne Williamson and, to Clarify, the ‘Dark Psychic Force’ I Mentioned Is the Algerian Military and Its Refusal to Cede Power to the Hirak
    by David Bradley Isenberg
⇦ … 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 … ⇨
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McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.

We are committed to our environment. Each year, we purchase carbon offsets commensurate with our estimate of the impact of the printing, shipping, and travel necessary to publish our books and magazines. We are continually working to minimize our impact on the planet by examining every business decision through a lens of sustainability. To support this effort, or to learn more, please write to executive director Amanda Uhle. McSweeney’s accepts no writing aided in any manner by AI. Before publishing any writing—from a letter to a book-length work—authors published at McSweeney’s will be asked to attest that AI played no part in the creation or writing of that work.
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