I, your beloved Snow Day, am excited to share that I’ve been meditating a lot lately and have decided to reinvent myself as the Flexible Instruction Day. You can call me FID for short. I’m the same Snow Day you know and love, just better. Now you get to stay cozy in your house during snowstorms and have school at the same time.

Some of you children may be wondering, “What about sleeping in and sledding?” Well, I’m here to ask, “What about honoring the responsibilities of your schoolwork regardless of bomb cyclones and ice-sheeted roads? What about bringing back at-home learning, one of the most enjoyable aspects of the pandemic? What about me?!”

Sorry. I’m just so jazzed about these changes that sometimes I can’t control my emotions. Kind of like you can’t control the weather or the school district’s implementation of this new policy.

Don’t get too excited—I’m just a contingency for when the weather is bad, or looks like it could potentially get bad, and I’m only to be utilized once the school district has run through all regular Snow Days built into the academic calendar. There are no Snow Days built into the academic calendar this year.

Parents, remember your own cherished childhood memories of canceled school and playing outside until you couldn’t feel your fingers, only coming in to warm up with a mug of hot chocolate? Now, remember the fun of three to four years ago, trying to educate children while they were confined in the place that contains all of their food, toys, and electronics? Get ready to relive the early, troubleshooting-filled months of COVID, because that’s what I’m all about now.

You’ll love not having to bundle your kids up for the snow or laying a towel out in the hallway for their wet boots, because they won’t be going outside. That’s right—your first grader has scheduled classes and busywork all day. (You may want to put the kibosh on that hot chocolate. Can’t be too careful with those Chromebooks and iPads. The protection plan you bought at the beginning of the school year isn’t that good.)

And teachers, rejoice. Students will have your undivided attention and will be grateful for the opportunity to log in at exact times to learn grammar and long division instead of building snow forts. And you teachers who are parents have the most to gain from my revamped style. You can still wear your slippers all day while keeping your toddler quiet in one room, facilitating your older kids’ remote learning in another room, and controlling your twenty-five students via camera and microphone in yet another.

Look, being the Snow Day was cool enough, but I’ve gone about as far as I can under that handle. It’s time for me to unleash my potential and be more. I’m still me—just the best version of me. I look forward to this new era of our relationship.

Your friend,