Dear Colleagues:

I hope that you and everyone you know or have ever known is safe. As you are likely aware, the COVID-19 pandemic has upended our lives in many, shall we say, unprecedented, ways. We used to live in normal times, but now we are living in times that are not normal. But there is reason to be optimistic. And that reason is that soon everything will return to normal. Maybe.

To prepare for our return to normal, we have set a date that exactly one month from now, everything will be back to how things were. We think. It is also possible that we need to push back the date for the return to normal to two months, but, for sure, it is pretty likely we will be back in person like we were before in the next three to six months. Unless we are not, and then we won’t. But for now, please plan for everything to go back to how things used to be within the next year. Or maybe two years or maybe decades.

So, in order to support our plan for the return to normal, please review the attached 3,647-page document on new policies that will ensure our return to normal is easy. Our new normal will be just like our old normal, but there will be policies that we have to follow, which will feel normal. The policies for our new normal will be followed so that we can feel like we felt in the old normal. But it will be the new normal. And soon, we think, this will feel perfectly normal.

Still, as you are all aware, it is possible that things will not go back to normal. That is OK. But for now, we would like all things to look like we are going back to what things were like. Like in 2019. Do you remember that? I remember.

In closing, I would like to reflect upon and celebrate this important moment in time. We have learned so much from this year and will surely go back to normal with new things we have learned. For example, staring at a wall is actually not a waste of time, but a healthy break from the computer screens we have lived behind for the past several days, months, years, etc. When we are back to normal, we will not allow people to stare at the wall as this will not be normal.

In anticipation of our new normal, please, stay safe.

Thank you and warm regards,