McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
Articles by
Benjamin Alpert
Ben Alpert is a professional engineer from the Great State of New Jersey (they pay me to call it that). If you enjoy his work, you can usually find more of it scrawled haphazardly in a notebook on his nightstand. Good luck getting to it without waking him though.
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
May 13, 2024A Regular Day in California, as Envisioned by Right-Wing Republicans
-
May 13, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: Why Did Two Grandmasters Apologize to Each Other?
-
May 13, 2024The United States Forest Service Answers Questions About Its New Policy to “Kill All Ticks and Consign Them to an Eternity in the Flaming Valleys of Hell”
-
May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today