McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
Articles by
Tom Ellison
Tom Ellison lives in the Washington, DC area where he writes humor, arguably. You can find more of his work here.
-
January 9, 2024The Mainstream Media Doesn’t Want You to Know This Thing I Just Learned from the Mainstream Media
-
December 11, 2023Everything a Barber Could Do During a Haircut Before I Speak Up
-
November 16, 2023Nutritious Additions to Our Elementary School Lunch Menu That Are Definitely Not Just More Pizza
-
September 8, 2023My Saturday Self Versus My Sunday Self
-
August 14, 2023Predictive Texts for the Conflict-Averse
-
July 12, 2023Airbnb Reviews of Henry David Thoreau’s Cabin
-
April 24, 2023Your Spoon Will Be Ready to Use After This Software Update
-
March 3, 2023I’ve Optimized My Health to Make My Life as Long and Unpleasant as Possible
-
February 20, 2023It’s Me, Teddy Roosevelt, and by “Man In the Arena” I Didn’t Mean You, Spencer
-
January 26, 2023Peaches the Instagram Dachshund Wants a Cut
-
January 9, 2023I Just Want to Start Lifting Weights Without Getting Red-Pilled
-
January 26, 2022A Scathing Review of Your Thirties: The Video Game
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
May 3, 2024I’m the Architect of the Death Star, and I Swear They Told Me I Was Designing a Military Resort
-
May 3, 2024Chronicles of a Catsitter: In the (Brooklyn) Heights
-
May 3, 2024Feelings and Situations for Which There Should Be a German Word Without an English Equivalent
-
May 2, 2024Days of the Week, Redefined for Parents