Download our app and get Internet Tendency optimized for your device,
plus much more!
(hide this message)

Dispatches From a Guy Trying Unsuccessfully to Sell a Song in Nashville

BY

- - - -

Charlie Hopper is well aware that it’s cliché for advertising agency people to dream of being songwriters, but there it is. He works at Young & Laramore Advertising in Indianapolis and has written songs his whole life—most of them for a D.I.Y. rock band. A few years ago he got the idea that he should write a song and see if he could sell it to Nashville. So far he hasn’t.

- - - -
Dispatch 40: Winterizing (1/8/2014)

Dispatch 39: Christian Rock Can Only Ever Be About One Thing (5/30/2013)

Dispatch 38: The Pun is Not Your Friend (2/8/2013)

Dispatch 37: A Ziploc Bag of Jigsaw Pieces That May or May Not Be From the Same Puzzle (8/2/2012)

Dispatch 36: Actually, No, That Would Not Make A Good Country Song (4/16/2012)

Dispatch 35: The Three Best Songs Ever Written (2/17/2012)

Dispatch 34: Mister Christmas (12/23/2011)

Dispatch 33: I’m Not Old and She’s Not Fat (11/29/2011)

Dispatch 32: The Kansan Speaks (Then Plays, Then Speaks Again) (9/29/2011)

Dispatch 31: What’s the Dog Think? (8/23/2011)

Dispatch 30: Every Time a Friend Succeeds, I Die A Little (7/22/2011)

Dispatch 29: Twelve Songwriters In a Nuclear Shelter with Food For Nine (7/7/2011)

Dispatch 28: Stand, and Unfold Yourself (3/31/2011)

Dispatch 27: Yep, Barry Manilow, Heh Heh (3/21/2011)

Dispatch 26: Where the Decisions Are His and Hers and His (3/8/2011)

Dispatch 25: Saturday Night At The Dollar Store (2/8/2011)

Dispatch 24: When the Zebras Kneel (12/3/2010)

Dispatch 23: Most of All We Have To Hide It From The Kids (10/1/2010)

Dispatch 22: Snowed In – Part 2 (9/16/2010)

Dispatch 21: Snowed In – Part 1 (9/15/2010)

Dispatch 20: The Role of the Ladder in Country Music (8/26/2010)

Dispatch 19: My Son, the Goy Hoosier (8/9/2010)

Dispatch 18: You’re Okay Unless I Make This Face: [Makes Face] (7/30/2010)

Dispatch 17: Inexplicably Optimistic/Insufficiently Discouraged (7/7/2010)

Dispatch 16: Ten Thousand Crickets (6/28/2010)

Dispatch 15: I Have Always Depended on the Mattress of Strangers (6/17/2010)

Dispatch 14: How Big a Stain Should It Be? (6/1/2010)

Dispatch 13: Thirteen People Who Can Say No (5/13/2010)

Dispatch 12: Is Country Music Right For You? Take This Quiz… (4/23/2010)

Dispatch 11: … Uh, Actually, I Was Singing (4/6/2010)

Dispatch 10: Almost Paradise (3/17/2010)

Dispatch 9: Too Many War Songs Already (2/25/2010)

Dispatch 8: Ol’ Cuticle Moon (2/9/2010)

Dispatch 7: Verse Verse Lift Chorus Verse Lift Chorus Bridge Chorus (1/20/2010)

Dispatch 6: A Libra Depression Baby (1/4/2010)

Dispatch 5: And Then Rachel Backed Out of the Middle of the Room On Her Knees (11/24/2009)

Dispatch 4: Meet Your Modern Pantheon (11/4/2009)

Dispatch 3: Down, Boy (10/15/2009)

Dispatch 2: Why You Hate Modern Nashville (9/30/2009)

Dispatch 1: Mopping Up the Blood (9/14/2009)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store.