A McSweeney’s Kickstarter Testimonial

* * *

“It was May, 1999 or so, give or take a year, and I had hit the road, tired of working for the ‘man.’ I was thumbing rides, and hopping boxcars or ‘shuffling squaretops’ (hobo slang). I was a loner, didn’t want or need another’s company. I was tired, strung out. I’d been working 80-hour weeks writing copy for a hot new product called ‘the Internet.’ One night I was holed up in a tree outside of Phoenix and from my perch I could see a young punk fussing with a rusty bicycle outside of the public library. I yelled down, ‘Hey, man! Don’t ya got no sense?’ and he scattered like he’d heard a ghost. I got to thinking bout that library down there and fell asleep dreaming of the possibilities. In the morning I crawled over to the entrance like a baby on a trail of crumbs. A kind lady let me in early and I got the first seat in front of their brand new computer. I logged onto the devil himself, wondering if I’d regret it, but then to my surprise I found me a little site called ‘McSweeney’s.’ It was a gateway, man. Finally the devil had redeemed himself. It was as if Saint Peter had popped his head out and said, ‘Hey, ‘bo, life can be a breeze if you let it, ya know?’ I made an about face, and now I run a chain of carpet shops in the Midwest. All thanks to McSweeney’s. So please support their Kickstarter.”
— Ted Travelstead, actor, writer, longtime Tendency contributor, and 41st ranked carpet salesperson in the Midwest

Visit our Kickstarter page to pledge your support.

hide announcement

Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs

BY

- - - -

We’re always looking for people with interesting or unusual jobs. If you fall into one of these categories, or know someone who does, please e-mail us at unusualjobs@mcsweeneys.net.

- - - -
Justine Coldwater: No Keys in the IgnitionNew (5/19/2015)

Wendy Merron, Hypnotist (4/10/2015)

Michela Dai Zovi: Working With Schizophrenics (3/3/2015)

Rachel Wheels Them Out (2/2/2015)

Zhanna Slor: Dying Isn’t Cheap (9/30/2014)

Tim Kovar, Professional Tree Climber (8/8/2014)

Throwing Chicken (6/20/2014)

Zoe DeLeon and the Family Band (5/7/2014)

A Former Methadone Clinic Counselor (4/16/2014)

Sprinkles and Fear: An Interview with a Baker at a Haunted Donut Shop (2/28/2014)

Alayna Pretended She Was Sick (12/4/2013)

Kate Can’t Get Your Bonbons But She’ll Take a Message (10/22/2013)

Mega Church Rent-a-Cop (8/22/2013)

John Ertle Buries Dead People (6/14/2013)

Roy the Roller King (5/7/2013)

Levi Greenacres Has a Bright Aura (4/8/2013)

Michael Blake, Former Pheasant Beater (3/28/2013)

Holly Harper Sells Cow Waterbeds (2/26/2013)

Sarah Kaufmann, Cheese Sculptor (1/31/2013)

Dexter O’Connell, Referee (11/12/2012)

Gabriel Harley, Record Producer (9/26/2012)

Rachael Burke, Apprentice to the Lampshade Lady (8/29/2012)

I Lost My Faith in Humanity (8/8/2012)

Phil So Sold Ice Cream to Your Children (7/2/2012)

Laura Anderson, Making a Living from Bananas (6/6/2012)

Jessica Anderson, Former Obituary Clerk (5/7/2012)

Ken Doyle, Safecracker (3/20/2012)

Meron Langsner, Choreographing Fights (2/13/2012)

50 Cents Per Rat (1/4/2012)

Andrea’s Boyfriend Hated That She Worked at the DMV (8/26/2011)

Stacey McLachlan Must Be the Honey (3/24/2011)

Daryl Langford: Immune to the Crap (2/16/2011)

Shelby Frantz, Come Home with Me! I Drive a Chevy! (1/21/2011)

Christen Carter Sells Saucy Buttons (12/23/2010)

Nick Jurkowski Doesn’t Mind Eating Ostriches Because They’re Such Jerks (11/9/2010)

Sara Horvath Picks Out the Lice (9/7/2010)

Christopher Horan, Lifting Three Garbage Cans for Every One Of Yours (7/11/2010)

Barry Rodgers: If You Have Cockroaches, I’ve Already Made the Sale (6/2/2010)

Liam Daniel Pierce, Central Park Gondolier (4/20/2010)

Nico Alba, Carpet Salesgirl (3/10/2010)

Dave Norman and the Paintball Invasion of Normandy (2/8/2010)

Tom, Drunk On the Christmas Tree Lot (12/18/2009)

I Eat Camping Fuel: An Interview with Allison Williams (11/18/2009)

Justin Hager, Phone Psychic (10/16/2009)

Josh Sims, Friend of the Jaguar (6/17/2009)

Tracy Unick, 911 Dispatcher and Trainer (7/19/2008)

Jana Leigh McWhorter, Walking on Airplane Wings (3/7/2008)

Pete Harman, Making Snow (2/26/2008)

William Hamilton, Former Army Prison Medic (1/29/2008)

Trent Botkin: Relocating Prairie Dogs (11/13/2007)

Joel Pierson, Cruise Ship Pianist (8/3/2007)

Alison Green, Not Recommending That You Smoke Pot (4/7/2007)

Andrea Holbeche, Knocking People Over (3/10/2007)

Matt Benson, Red Kangaroo (1/7/2007)

Aurora Nibley, Universal Studios Tour Guide (11/21/2006)

Ellen Bar, Ballerina (10/27/2006)

Kameron Bashi, Pharmaceutical Guinea Pig (8/27/2006)

Waxing and Extracting at a Five-Star Spa (7/22/2006)

My Ankles Are Pink and I Don’t Care: An Interview With Harrison Behl (5/28/2006)

I Was in the Navy (Sort Of): An Interview With Alex MacInnis (3/7/2006)

David Kruchowski, Working at a Strip Club With Mom (2/9/2006)

Serving Subpoenas With Scott (1/16/2006)

Laura Erickson, Ornithologist (1/2/2006)

No More Plastic Birds: An Interview With Eva Amsen (12/6/2005)

Screaming at the Dentist With Wendy K (11/3/2005)

An Interview With Geoff Fox, Meteorologist (10/13/2005)

An Interview with Krista, Activities Director for a Retirement Community (8/29/2005)

An Interview with Stephanie Parry, Former Hardware Technician (7/23/2005)

I Ran the Scrambler: An Interview with Kim Engler (5/19/2005)

An Interview with Matt Haze, Former Movie Extra (4/27/2005)

Putting an Orange-Juice-like Drink in the Hopper: An Interview with Tony Meehan (2/19/2005)

Buying Malt Liquor With Nickels (11/2/2004)

I Haul Your Booze: An Interview with a Trucker (9/12/2004)

I’m Your Trumpet-Playing Gorilla: An Interview with Brian Wishnefsky, a.k.a. Sparky the Clown (6/24/2004)

An Interview With Robert Cork Kallen, Certified Firewalk Instructor (5/2/2004)

An Interview with the Repo Man (3/18/2004)

An Interview with Nicole G., Former U.S. Census Bureau Employee (2/16/2004)

An Interview with Joe Bodnar, Auctioneer (1/31/2004)

Jackie Watson, on Calling BINGO (1/6/2004)

An Interview with Sara Willkomm, President of a Michael Ian Black Fan Club (12/6/2003)

Never Been to Jitterbugs, An Interview With Michele Beardsley (10/13/2003)

Just Call Me Zippy, An Interview With Amy Barich (9/27/2003)

The Sperm Bank, an Interview with Dina N (8/1/2003)

Be Nice to Me, An Interview with Darshan, a New York City Limo Driver (6/17/2003)

Tell Me About Your Lights in the Sky, An Interview with Larry Haapanen (5/6/2003)

Saving Lives and Doing Dip, An Interview with Kari, Former Lifeguard (3/15/2003)

An Interview with Avril Watson, Former Magician’s Assistant (1/19/2003)

Wearing a Shower Cap and Raking the Chips, An Interview with Tom Cooney (12/5/2002)

On the Night Shift, An Interview with Aaron Bostian, On Vacuuming, Scrubbing, and Mopping (9/27/2002)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by donating to our Kickstarter campaign.