SPECIAL DECORATIVE-GOURD-RELATED PROMOTION!

Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron at $10 (or more) a month, and receive a free It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers tote bag. (Offer ends October 1st.)

Stained Teeth: A Column About Wine

Stained Teeth is a sort of wine column. Or, it’s writing tangential to wine. Or, let’s say this: there’s wine in here.