“Bob and Tom’s Fish and Fry”: A Sentence-Combining Worksheet.
Instructions: Join each group of sentences below into a single and effective complex one. Feel free to re-order sentences and phrases, and/or eliminate redundancies and subordinate clauses. Use appositives and employ absolute phrases to connect ideas, coordinating conjunctions (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so_) preceded by a comma, or use subordinating conjunctions (_who, which, that, although, because, since, though, if, as if, and others). Try reading your new sentences out loud. Have fun!
1. I walk into a car repair shop that is located on Central Avenue.
2. It is next to the Bob and Tom’s Fish and Fry.
3. Bob and Tom’s Fish and Fry is a place I have eaten before.
4. It is located in Albany.
5. It is located in the outskirts of Albany.
1. I moved to downtown Albany last year when my wife and I bought a house.
2. No—it’s not because we bought a house.
3. I got my first teaching job here at a small Catholic college.
4. Then we bought a house.
5. The house was built in 1876.
6. I said it was my first teaching job.
7. Wait; that came out wrong.
1. I have not gone onto a second teaching job.
2. In fact, I don’t have another teaching job lined up.
3. The house has a nice yard, a television, and posters of Flash Gordon.
4. Sometimes, late at night, I cruise adult websites.
5. I just went to a website that advertises to have “many of your favorite adult film titles available online.”
6. It has been 28 years since my last confession.
7. I am a fan of the Mike Hodges’s adaptation of Flash Gordon, Flash Gordon (1980).
8. I’ll admit: I did do some phone interviews to check out the academic market.
9. Flash Gordon has many incarnations on page and screen, including a painting by Jean-Michel Basquiat.
1. Jean-Michel Basquiat is a neo-expressionist artist.
2. That reminds me.
3. I once went to a retrospective of Jean-Michel Basquiat at the Brooklyn Museum in Brooklyn.
4. I lived there before I moved to Albany.
5. Albany is the capital of the State of New York and the county seat of Albany County.
6. I miss the glory days of Christy Canyon, Seka, and Ginger Lynn.
7. The website says it offers several versions of Flesh Gordon (Michael Benveniste and Howard Ziehm, 1974).
1. After moving from Brooklyn, we lived in a neighborhood in the so-called midtown section of Albany.
2. The so-called midtown section is also called the Pine Hills neighborhood.
3. We bought a house in Albany at the height of the housing bubble.
4. Even if I wanted to interview for another job we would still be stuck here in Albany.
5. It would be nice to teach at a college that isn’t so Catholic.
6. The college isn’t affiliated with the church.
1. One version of Flesh Gordon is dubbed in French.
2. Its subtitle reads: Destination: Planète Porno.
3. Students here are sometimes too easily offended.
4. Bob and Tom is also the name of a morning radio show in Toledo and Indianapolis, Indiana.
5. The Bob and Tom Show is syndicated across the country.
6. I read somewhere that Basquiat was an angry and frustrated child.
1. The shrimp was rather plain-tasting.
2. By which I mean there was no spice in the breading that surrounds the shrimp.
3. Some spices I like are: curry, black pepper, cumin, and oregano.
4. I was delighted to find the website offers many adult take-offs of popular movies.
5. Examples of take-off adult film titles include Fleshdance, American Booty, and Assablanca.
6. Many students might think classic adult film titles are offensive.
1. I am not looking for another teaching job.
2. My students should not worry that I am leaving.
3. It’s just that during this time of year, the tenure-track postings appear everywhere.
4. Any of those spices mentioned above would work in a dish with fried, breaded shrimp.
5. Other examples of classic adult film take-off titles include On Golden Blonde, Bi-Curious George, and Good Will Humping.
6. I would doubt I would go to all the trouble to teach somewhere else where the same problems would occur.
7. It is the early fall.
1. I forgot to tell you why I went to a car repair shop.
2. My car was smashed in a parking lot near our house in Albany by a much larger car.
3. The driver said she “didn’t notice anything” hitting her car.
4. She must have been watching a DVD in her SUV.
5. I called the lady a “fucking idiot.”
6. She sideswiped the Honda and now I have to take it to the shop.
7. I held my tongue after that.
8. The lady looked genuinely surprised at my foul mouth.
9. We waited for the Albany cops to come.
10. The lady had a set of rosary beads hanging from her rear-view window.
SUGGESTED READSRevising Strunk and White
by Dan Kennedy (11/10/2000)
The Elements Of Spam.
by Jason Roeder (2/8/2006)
A Scene From the Upcoming Film The Elements of Style
by Matt D. Wilson (6/1/2010)
RECENTLYA Public Service Announcement on the Perils of Living With Instant Gratification Syndrome
by Katie Bo Williams (12/4/2013)
Interviews With People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Alayna Pine Pretended She Was Sick
by Suzanne Yeagley (12/4/2013)
Tim Carvell’s History’s Notable Persons Reconsidered: Nero
by Tim Carvell (12/4/2013)
POPULARJamie and Jeff’s Birth Plan
by Paul William Davies (12/26/2012)
Retail Therapy: Inside the Apple Store: It’s a Trap!
by J.K. Appleseed (11/21/2013)
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (10/20/2009)