Illustration by Francisco Baudizzone

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[Originally published June 26, 2015.]

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Roberts’ dissent:

I support you all
No, really, I do, but this
Isn’t our problem.

Alito’s dissent:

“Happiness is not
the point of marriage, fools. It’s
BABIES,” he whispered.

Thomas’ dissent:

“Liberty” – this word,
I do not think Locke means what
You think it means. Sigh.

Scalia’s dissent:

You’re not a poet,
Kennedy. And by the way,
Democracy’s dead.

Kennedy’s majority decision:

Hark! Love is love, and
love is love is love is love.
It is so ordered.