McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Articles by
Bethlehem Shoals
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January 12, 2007FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Teacups and Sodden Plums for All Days
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November 2, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Mouth That Speaks, Mouth That Burns
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October 12, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Sweet Fields of Unfastened Terrain
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July 20, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: We Should All Be So Starkly Determined
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July 14, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Scarce Shoes of Heat and Light
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June 22, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Small Meals Make Growing Tenseless
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June 15, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Cluttered Parlors Are the Coziest
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May 11, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Don’t Think I’m Just a Violent Guy
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April 26, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Whiskers of Royalty, Bags of Carpet
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April 13, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: In Our Brave Firmament, a Mole Lurks
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March 31, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: Keep the Sky Staying Up Above Me
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March 16, 2006FreeDarko’s Executive Quarters of Organized Basketball: I Shall Powder Wherever I Please
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October 10, 2018My Common App Essay: “Every School Reading This Except Dartmouth Sucks Ass”
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October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 8, 2018Matreon: The Patreon Platform for Emotional Labor
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October 12, 2018List: Appropriate Moments to Respond With Lady Gaga’s Guttural Howl From the Song “Shallow”
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October 19, 2018Stoning Our Neighbors to Death Makes the Corn Grow High, and Elitist Liberals Should Stop Attacking This Traditional Value
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October 19, 2018Letter of Recommendation for a Basic Male MFA Applicant