Articles by
Jack Loftus
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May 29, 2013Monologue: I’m Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, King of the Fucking Sea
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February 19, 2013List: Instagram Filters Inspired by My Parents’ Reaction to Yet Another Return Home as a Single Man Who Has Still Not Enrolled In Graduate School
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September 27, 2011Denny’s Research & Development Team Leader Doesn’t Have Time For Your Shit
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May 11, 2011A Hoth Realtor Addresses Some of the Concerns Being Raised Over His Decision to Turn Han Solo’s Deceased Tauntaun Into a Modest Studio Apartment
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April 13, 2011The Washington Post Inadvertently Publishes My Online Dating Profile with the Editor’s Notes Still Included
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December 14, 2010Monologue: The Word Dude Reflects On Its Steady Decline from Keeping Company with Rakish 19th Century Dandies to Its Demeaning Modern Day Role as Filler for Light Beer Commercials
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May 18, 2011I Regret to Inform You That My Wedding to Captain Von Trapp Has Been Canceled
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July 12, 2017How to Talk to Your Teen About Colluding With Russia
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July 5, 2017Welcome to Our Startup Where Everyone is 23 Years Old Because We Believe Old People Are Visually Displeasing and Out of Ideas
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July 11, 2017Donald Trump Jr. Reviews Famous Works of Literature
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July 25, 2017Other Meetings Jared Kushner Has Attended Without Realizing What They Were
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July 25, 2017Incerdlibe! Humnas Are Srmat Engouh to Raed Tihs, But Apapnerlty Tehy Stlil Arne’t Srmat Eonguh to WATCH MY ONE-MAN SHOW!
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July 25, 2017Monologue: I Am a New Meme
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July 25, 2017List: Exciting New Forms of Improv Comedy