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Articles by
Jack Loftus
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May 29, 2013I’m Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, King of the Fucking Sea
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February 19, 2013Instagram Filters Inspired by My Parents’ Reaction to Yet Another Return Home as a Single Man Who Has Still Not Enrolled In Graduate School
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September 27, 2011Denny’s Research & Development Team Leader Doesn’t Have Time For Your Shit
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May 11, 2011A Hoth Realtor Addresses Some of the Concerns Being Raised Over His Decision to Turn Han Solo’s Deceased Tauntaun Into a Modest Studio Apartment
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April 13, 2011The Washington Post Inadvertently Publishes My Online Dating Profile with the Editor’s Notes Still Included
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December 14, 2010The Word Dude Reflects On Its Steady Decline from Keeping Company with Rakish 19th Century Dandies to Its Demeaning Modern Day Role as Filler for Light Beer Commercials
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July 29, 2022Thank You for Calling the Perimenopause Hotline, Where Our Hold Times Are Completely Unpredictable
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August 5, 2022An Open Letter to the White Mommy Blogger Who Posted a Recipe for Turmeric Energy Balls
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August 2, 2022Memo Regarding New State Teacher Qualifications
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August 4, 2022For My Next Death-Defying Stunt, I Will Ride My Bike in This Bike Lane
Recently
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August 11, 2022A Welcome Letter to the New Adjunct Faculty Members Who Will Be Laid Off in December
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August 11, 2022Short Conversations with Poets: Chris Abani
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August 11, 2022I Am a Rugged Man Who Simply Grills
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August 10, 2022I Know I Said I’d Walk Five Hundred Miles for You, But I Am Now Having Second Thoughts