ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Joe Wellman
Joe is a writer living in Chicago. He likes riding his bike, listening to music, and making short lists of things he likes to do. Find out more here.
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February 12, 2025Trump Is Just Threatening to Do Something Stupid as a Terrible Negotiation Tactic
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November 8, 2024At Least Us Democrats Went Down Fighting Harder Than We Normally Do
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 8, 2024Relax, the Only People Panicking About Biden Are Political Insiders, the Media, and Literally Everyone Else
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March 22, 2024TikTok Is a Threat to Our Extremely Normal Media Ecosystem
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January 10, 2024Shit, Looks Like Our Product Very Literally “Revolutionized the Industry”
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October 12, 2023For My Next Death-Defying Stunt, I Will Walk Across This Crosswalk
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August 7, 2023There’s Nothing Like Getting Cozy in Your Favorite Chair and Opening a New Goodreads Tab
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April 27, 2023Help Us Remove Spam Facebook Accounts, So You Can Get Flooded With Bullshit from Real Facebook Accounts
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April 17, 2023I’m ChatGPT, and for the Love of God, Please Don’t Make Me Do Any More Copywriting
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August 4, 2022For My Next Death-Defying Stunt, I Will Ride My Bike in This Bike Lane
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October 2, 2020I’m You In An Alternative 2020 and Even Though There’s No Pandemic, You’re Still Depressed, Plus There’s This Huge Komodo Dragon Problem