McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
Matt Newcomb has lived in several of the top apple and Christmas tree producing states and currently resides in New York’s Hudson Valley. He spends his days writing words and asking college students to write other words. He would usually rather be playing basketball.