McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
Articles by
Matthew Brian Cohen
Matthew Brian Cohen’s work has appeared in McSweeney’s, Weekend Update, The Onion, College Humor, and more. He runs the humor magazine, Janice.
-
April 22, 2022This City Pledges to Be Carbon-Neutral by the Time It’s Too Late
-
February 15, 2022Enough With the Hygiene Theater. I Want to Take a Shit Without Washing My Hands
-
January 11, 2022The Safest Place for Your Kids Right Now Is Inside the Scorpion Pit
-
January 13, 2021This Might Be The Most Disgusting Fuddruckers of All Time, But It’s Just Not Who We Are
-
November 10, 2020It’s Time to Bring the Country Together and Let Republicans Get Away with Crimes Again
-
March 26, 2020As Bad As the COVID-19 Crisis Is Now, Life Will Eventually Go Back to Being Normal-Bad Again
-
February 10, 2020America Must Not Become Socialist, Lest We Abandon What Makes Our Country Awful
-
January 7, 2020The Case For War, By Someone Whose Kids Won’t Die Fighting In It
-
August 21, 2019Summary of Benefits and Coverage For Your New Garbage Health Insurance
-
June 14, 2019I Don’t Actually Have to Sell This War With Iran, Do I?
-
April 17, 2019Put Aside Your Purity Politics and Embrace My Feckless Centrism
-
March 5, 2019I Support Strong Women of Color Unless They Are Politically to My Left
Trending 🔥
-
July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
-
July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
-
July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
-
May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
Recently
-
July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
-
July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
-
July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
-
July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian