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Articles by
Patrick Cassels
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March 2, 2007Words Never Used in the Titles of Remotely Good Films
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February 14, 2007Tom Skerritt’s Speech to the Cadets in Top Gun Is Probably Long Enough as It Is
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August 26, 2005Totalitarian Institutions That Would Have Been More Fitting for George Orwell’s 1984, Considering How That Year Turned Out
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June 24, 2005The Extended Family of Thespian Rip Torn
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May 18, 2005Embarrassing Things That Might Happen to You While Using a Lightsaber
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February 25, 2005A More Dynamic but Ultimately Inappropriate Version of Hal 9000’s Final Words from _2001: A Space Odyssey
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 7, 2021A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting That They Wear Masks
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October 9, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2021Wake Up, Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax
Recently
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September 20, 2021Dear McSweeney’s Crossword Puzzle
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September 20, 2021Fourteen Short Obituaries for the Modern Woman
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September 20, 2021McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Shelly Oria, Editor of Indelible in the Hippocampus: Writings from the Me Too Movement
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September 20, 2021Introducing Manlight: The Nightlight for Men Who Aren’t Afraid of the Dark