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Articles by
Patrick Cassels
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March 2, 2007Words Never Used in the Titles of Remotely Good Films
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February 14, 2007Tom Skerritt’s Speech to the Cadets in Top Gun Is Probably Long Enough as It Is
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August 26, 2005Totalitarian Institutions That Would Have Been More Fitting for George Orwell’s 1984, Considering How That Year Turned Out
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June 24, 2005The Extended Family of Thespian Rip Torn
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May 18, 2005Embarrassing Things That Might Happen to You While Using a Lightsaber
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February 25, 2005A More Dynamic but Ultimately Inappropriate Version of Hal 9000’s Final Words from _2001: A Space Odyssey
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January 5, 2022A Note of Reassurance from Your School District Regarding Our Updated Omicron Policies
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
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December 31, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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December 29, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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January 19, 2022I Drank from the Wrong Holy Grail and Now I’m an Adjunct Professor of Comparative Literature
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January 19, 2022Increasingly Convoluted Rules for Ordering a Philly Cheesesteak Like a Local
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January 19, 2022Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof, Now a Rich Man, Receives a Letter from His HOA
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January 18, 2022A Health Screening Questionnaire for Teachers