MCSWEENEY'S QUARTERLY SUBSCRIPTIONS
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Articles by
Patrick Crooks
Patrick Crooks is a Brooklyn-based writer where, among other things, he instigates feuds with ’70s pop stars for the Hard Times, and occasionally does stand up despite his crippling anxiety. He is single and childless.
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January 13, 2022I Can’t Help but Notice That This is the Thirteenth Month in a Row I’ve Been Featured as HR’s Commitment to Diversity
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November 8, 2021Your Lack of Red Flags Is Stifling Me Creatively
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September 16, 2021The Founders Would Like to Remind You They’ve Been Dead for Nearly Two Hundred Years
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June 16, 2020An Open Letter to the College Roommate I’ve Barely Spoken to Since Freshman Year Who Keeps Referring to Me as His Black Friend
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 15, 2023Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
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September 22, 2023Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns
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September 18, 2023Who Made This Hummus?