Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Articles by
Sam Shelstad
Sam Shelstad lives in Toronto, Ontario. His first book of short stories, Cop House, was released this fall by Nightwood Editions.
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December 21, 2017This Year’s Top-Selling Book is an Accent Pillow
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July 18, 2017A Few Questions Before We Decide to Let You Join Our Running Club
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December 14, 2015Trampolines Were Supposed to Bring Us Closer Together, But I Think They’re Driving Us Further Apart
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July 6, 2015Pool Rules
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February 27, 2015Sentient Cloud of Poisonous Gas Seeks Companion
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July 2, 2014Minutes from a Town Hall Meeting of My Anxieties
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August 28, 2013This Deer Won’t Look Both Ways
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January 17, 2013The Right Time
Trending 🔥
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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March 18, 2019March Sadness
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March 19, 2019List: Impossible reCAPTCHAs
Recently
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March 22, 2019To Make It As an Artist, I Recommend Having Unlimited Time and Money
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March 22, 2019List: What Guests Said At the Patriarchy’s Funeral
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March 22, 2019
Phoenix, a New Mini-Book by Dave Eggers About His Visit to an Arizona Trump Rally, at Which Dozens of Citizens Freely Carried AR-15s, Hundreds (Including the Author) Were Teargassed, and Miraculously No One Was Killed or Wounded -
March 22, 2019Excerpts From Gabriel García Márquez’s Love In the Time of Covfefe