Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Articles by
Valerie Nies
Valerie Nies is a comedian, writer, and breakfast lover living in Austin, Texas. She wants a dog but is too afraid of commitment.
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March 28, 2018Email Sign-Offs Employers Will Fire You For, Especially If You Happen to Be a Woman
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February 8, 2017I, A White Female Trump Voter, Look Forward to the United States’ Impending War with Nordstrom
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July 14, 2016Categories I Divided My Belongings Into Using the KonMari Method
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January 15, 2016This Judy Blume Reading is Bound to Be Packed with Hot Virile Men
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April 22, 2015How to Throw Like a Girl
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November 20, 2017Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell, Reimagined for Linguistic Transgressions
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January 24, 2020Why I Decided Not to Have an OBGYN and Let Wendy From Work Handle My Prenatal Care Instead
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January 21, 2020If Your University’s Administration Ran a Polar Expedition
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November 5, 2018Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-546
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January 28, 2020Yes, One of Nyarlathotep’s Nether-Daemons Escaped With Vital News From the Room of Gnashing Misery, But Is it Really All That Important to Hear Their Horrific Tale?
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January 28, 2020Democrats Must Appeal to the Tiny Margin of People Who Voted for Trump and Might Be Open to Supporting a Moderate Democrat in 2020
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January 28, 2020How to Find Your Correct Bra Size
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January 28, 2020Why Cover Letters Are Such an Important Part of Building a Miniature Town Made of Paper