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Valerie Nies is a comedian, writer, and breakfast lover living in Austin, Texas. She wants a dog but is too afraid of commitment.
March 28, 2018Email Sign-Offs Employers Will Fire You For, Especially If You Happen to Be a Woman
February 8, 2017Monologue: I, A White Female Trump Voter, Look Forward to the United States’ Impending War with Nordstrom
July 14, 2016List: Categories I Divided My Belongings Into Using the KonMari Method
January 15, 2016This Judy Blume Reading is Bound to Be Packed with Hot Virile Men
April 22, 2015List: How to Throw Like a Girl