What the world needs is a 680-page, three-pound humor anthology. KEEP SCROLLING TILL YOU FEEL SOMETHING: TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF HUMOR FROM McSWEENEY’S INTERNET TENDENCY is now available for preorder.

Advice From a Person With a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology

Jason Roeder really did earn a bachelor’s degree in psychology. Then he sort of wandered off. The following counsel is not meant to substitute for professional therapy, psychotropic medications, the endorphin surge of a long run, taking a bubble bath, yelling at a waitress so you’ll feel like a big man, or going to Urban Outfitters and shaking a Magic 8 Ball that you’re not actually going to buy.