Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.

Fear, Inc

Susan Schorn is a self defense instructor in Austin, Texas who teaches from the “empowerment” model, which sees critical thinking as central to personal safety, and regards personal and community safety as inextricably linked. She doesn’t like bullies and has limited patience with cowards. Her home is protected by three large, poorly trained, unpredictable dogs, whose veterinary bills prevent her from owning anything worth stealing. She also writes the McSweeney’s column Bitchslap.