The Believer Magazine
How to Write Every Speech You’ll Ever Need to Give in Your Life
In this column, professional speechwriter Chandler Dean provides partly satirical, partly genuine “How To” advice focused on a hyper-specific subcategory of speeches—from graduation speeches to wedding toasts to eulogies, and all the rhetorical occasions in between.
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June 17, 2024How to Respectfully Decline an Invitation to a Social Obligation You Simply Do Not Feel Like Attending
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May 22, 2024How to Craft a Eulogy When All You Want to Do Is Crawl in a Hole
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May 1, 2024How to Do Really Really Well at Show-and-Tell
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend
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March 29, 2024How to Concede an Election While Making It Clear That Your Ideas Are Objectively Better
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March 8, 2024How to Accept an Award Without Making Your Voters Regret It
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February 26, 2024How to Give a Wedding Toast Without Annoying Hundreds of Hungry Guests
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February 7, 2024How to Give a Toast to a Departing Coworker
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January 22, 2024How to Nail Your High School Graduation Speech Even If You’re Not That Popular
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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