McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.

Not So Timeless After All

2014 Column Contest Winner

In this space, Ilana Masad posts the death notices of beloved characters from children’s literature. She herself will likely die in some karmic fashion involving plush toys, authorial rage, and murderous children.