Studies have found that alphabet books are helpful and fun tools to promote literacy and teach life lessons to children. But studies also show that kids’ lives are ridiculously easy. They don’t have to pay rent or run errands or wonder whether it’s time to start thinking about freezing their eggs. Adults, on the other hand, are faced with all kinds of unwritten rules every day—and we need to have them spelled out. Literally. Here are twenty-six experiences that define being twenty-six and beyond.
A is for Adulthood, its trials and tribulations…
B is for the Babysitter—whose rates outpace inflation.
C is for Cups covering your nightstand and desk…
D is for the rush you’ll get Depositing mobile checks.
E is for Escaping your home friend’s MLM biz…
F is for FICO score, whatever that is.
G is for Grocery shopping—AGAIN—for moldy berries…
H is for HBO to cure the Sunday scaries.
I is for “I read an article” when it’s a tweet you remember…
J is for dry January. Or maybe February. How ’bout September?
K is for K cups, which you’ll stock up like pills…
L is for Losing your parents’ insurance—and gaining dermo bills!
M is for the Millennial pause. Confused? You might do it yourself…
N is for Novels. Will you read them? Uh, they look good on the shelf!
O is for the post Office, where speedy service is elusive…
P is for Preventative botox. Only mildly intrusive!
Q is for Quiet quitting, because capitalism is scary…
R is for Rizz, the latest word you’ll search on Urban Dictionary.
S is for Student loans—and maybe paying them off before you’re dead…
T is for TurboTax, which isn’t free, it should be said.
U is for Unemployment, for when the startup sends you packing…
V is for Vaseline, for when your elbows start cracking.
W is for Weddings, where someone’s aunt will tell you, “Clock’s ticking!”
X is for X Æ A-12—a better baby name than some pals are picking.
Y is for You’ll be fine, don’t worry! Fear is normal. You’re good.
Z is for the Zero Fs you need to give in adulthood.