Lists

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Send your list submissions to lists@mcsweeneys.net.

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Strain of Marijuana or Shade of Covergirl Outlast Stay Brilliant Nail Glosstini?New
by Chloe Kent (7/29/2015)

What My Boss Is Jamaican Me Feel Besides CrazyNew
by Jess Zeidman (7/28/2015)

Attainable Goals for the Modern American In Lieu of Trying to “Be the Change You Wish to See in the World.”New
by Rachel Klein (7/27/2015)

Workplace Features of a Super-Fun Tech Start-Up, and Also Pee-wee’s Playhouse
by Joyce Millman (7/24/2015)

How to Win at Childbirth Class
by Carla E. Bruce-Eddings (7/22/2015)

Five Works of Feminist Literature That Make Great Kindling for His Barbecue
by Toria Sheffield (7/20/2015)

Philosophies, Confessions, and Suggested Living Areas of Graphic Tees On Sale at Urban Outfitters
by Clare Welsh (7/17/2015)

Five Signs Your Girlfriend’s Not That Into You and Has Been Stealing Your Bone Marrow
by Benjamin Rudeen (7/16/2015)

Other Bods
by Sara Boboltz (7/15/2015)

Advanced Drinking Aphorisms
by Jonathon Schaff (7/14/2015)

More Honest Tanning Bed Dial Settings
by Mollie Swayne (7/13/2015)

Netflix Synopses for the Unaired Reboot of Murder, She Wrote.
by A. Wolfe (7/9/2015)

New Affirmations
by Alan Hanson (7/7/2015)

How We Celebrate The Fourth of July
by Randal Wetzel (7/2/2015)

21 Days to a Dadbod
by David Tate (6/30/2015)

17 Easy Ways to Get a Better Butt
by Alison Leiby and Alyssa Wolff (6/24/2015)

Dear God! What Have You Done to That Swiss Chard?!
by Abbie Amadio (6/23/2015)

Five Works of Feminist Literature That Make Great Diet Food
by Toria Sheffield (6/22/2015)

Easy Ways for Asian-Americans to Fit In
by Karen Chee (6/18/2015)

Things a Man Must NEVER Do Before the Age of 30!
by Mike Sacks and Ted Travelstead (6/17/2015)

How We’re Starting the Marriage Chapter of Our Memoirs
by Heidi Meurer (6/16/2015)

Questions From Emotional Tech Support
by Luke Strickler (6/15/2015)

Questions It’s Totally Okay to Not Have Answered in Your Twenties
by Catherine LeClair (6/12/2015)

What Commercials Have Taught Me About Laundry
by Adriana Cloud (6/11/2015)

Ski Term, Loud Sex Act Heard Through Very Thin Hotel Wall, or Guided By Voices Song?
by Kerreanna DiMauro (6/10/2015)

What Else the “Half Your Age Plus Seven” Rule Applies To
by Chris Weis (6/9/2015)

Winning Quilt Block Patterns at the 2015 Ballz-Out Quilter’s Society’s Annual Symposium
by Gary M. Almeter (6/8/2015)

Measures We’re Taking to Offset the Patriarchal Footprint of Our Wedding
by Hannah Ballou (6/5/2015)

Tips for Female Presidential Hopefuls
by Jenna Barnett (6/4/2015)

Privilege-Checking Preambles of Varying Degrees of Singularity
by George Morony (6/3/2015)

Ways Teachers Avoid Saying “No.”
by Eric Nebbia (6/1/2015)

Sufjan Stevens Song or Quote From the National UFO Reporting Center?
by Mandala Laura (5/28/2015)

Classic Wisdom for Your Early 20s
by Jewel Galbraith (5/27/2015)

Your Ex-Boyfriend Tim Won a Sweet Prize at Dave & Buster’s Because You Lurked His Most Recent Ex’s Pinterest and Six Other Ways You Are Positively Impacting Tim’s Life with Your Self-Destructive Social Media Habits
by Larissa Zageris (5/26/2015)

Batting Heckles Uttered by the Dad On My Son’s Little League Team Who is a Meteorology Professor and Whose Research Interests Include Cloud-Based Analytics for Spatio-Temporal Data With a Primary Focus On Climate, Hydrological and Ecological Sciences
by Gary M. Almeter (5/22/2015)

Bechdel Test-Inspired Rules for Other Cartoonists
by Shannon Reed (5/21/2015)

I Know You Are But What Am I: Political Edition
by Kimberly Harrington (5/19/2015)

Singles Mixers in Your Area
by Kim Thompson (5/15/2015)

Netflix Recommendations for Your Next Genre of Boyfriend
by Jessie Gaynor (5/13/2015)

Excerpts from Forthcoming Kama Sutra Guide Titles
by Christopher James (5/12/2015)

Alternative Health Establishments That Should Be Opened by Characters from Bruce Springsteen Songs
by Liza Behles (5/11/2015)

Honest Mother’s Day Cards
by Cetoria Tomberlin (5/8/2015)

50 Ways to Leave Your Mother
by Jimmy Chen (5/8/2015)

What Your Social Media Status Updates Reveal About Your Marriage
by Darren Cahr (5/7/2015)

The Modern Gangs of New York
by Nick Kolakowski (5/6/2015)

The 20th Century’s Greatest Works of Content, Ranked By Reach and Cross Platform Shareability
by Megan Maile Green (5/5/2015)

Crowdfunding Pages of Famous Musical Theater Characters
by Tyler Gillespie (5/4/2015)

MORE Things a Man MUST Do Before the Age of 30!
by Mike Sacks and Ted Travelstead (4/30/2015)

Text Messages for Which My Emoji List is (Still) Not Sufficient
by Emily Schuck (4/29/2015)

What Your favorite ‘90s Fashion and Beauty Trend Says About You
by Jennifer Burns (4/28/2015)

Emotions My Emotional Support Dog Supports
by Caitlin Kunkel (4/23/2015)

How to Throw Like a Girl
by Valerie Nies (4/22/2015)

How to Beat the Cast of Dynasty in the Drinking Game “Never Have I Ever.”
by Amy Canavan and Sarah Schneeberger (4/20/2015)

Postmodern Zen Koans
by Elisa Abatsis (4/15/2015)

Writers’ Workshop Critiques as Applied to Your Sex Life
by Nicole Boyce (4/13/2015)

Subtle Things 2016 GOP Presidential Candidates Can And Should Do Right Now to More Thoroughly and Most Convincingly Evoke the Reagan Years
by Gary M. Almeter (4/10/2015)

Vegetable Gardening Tips, A-Z
by Carol Kolb (4/9/2015)

New Age Nondescript Markers of Status
by Caitlin Kelley (4/8/2015)

ADMIT; BUT; NOR: Dating Edition
by Scott Farrar (4/7/2015)

Rejected Ben & Jerry’s Passover Flavors
by Alex Bernstein (4/3/2015)

Recent Hit Pop Songs Co-Written by Influential Feminist Philosophers
by Joyce Miller (4/1/2015)

Sit-Com Spin-Offs from Ingmar Bergman Films
by Dale Shaw (3/30/2015)

Things My Love Life and My Writing Career Have in Common
by Samantha Edmonds (3/27/2015)

Things a Man MUST Do Before the Age of 30!
by Mike Sacks and Ted Travelstead (3/26/2015)

Band Names for Your Physics Professor’s Midlife Crisis
by Lisa Fiedler (3/25/2015)

Bar Fight Insults as Academic Papers
by Kevin Miller (3/24/2015)

ADMIT; BUT; NOR: The Workplace Edition
by Scott Farrar (3/23/2015)

13 Reasons Microaggressions Are All In Your Head, Dummy
by Tom Harrison (3/19/2015)

Benjamin Franklin’s To-Do List
by Sean Cullen (3/18/2015)

Weight Loss Tips for Women with Bowling Balls Instead of Hands
by Heidi Meurer (3/16/2015)

Are You Working in a Start-Up or Are You In Jail?
by Niree Noel (3/13/2015)

Unheralded Writing Prizes
by Nathaniel Missildine (3/12/2015)

Alternate Careers for House of Cards’ Frank Underwood
by William Lessard (3/11/2015)

True Designer Baby Names
by Marco Kaye (3/6/2015)

Headlines From My Dismal Lifestyle Blog
by Eileen Consedine (3/5/2015)

Less-Popular Kitchenware Maneuvers In Bed
by Dan McMinn (3/3/2015)

Existentialist Quotes for Social Media Platforms
by Jim Sabataso (2/27/2015)

Lacrosse Term, Obscure Sex Act That Frat Guys Always Claim to Do, Sweet Corn Variety, or Automotive Term With an Arbitrary Proper Noun In Front of It?
by Gary M. Almeter (2/26/2015)

Non-Discriminatory No-Go Zones
by Amelie Mabbutt (2/25/2015)

This Year’s Most Popular Musical Theatre Boys Names
by Andrew Law (2/23/2015)

If Critics Wrote About the Male Best Director Nominees the Same Way They Write About Selma Director Ava DuVernay
by Shannon Reed (2/20/2015)

Follow-Up Red Carpet Questions for Female Celebrities
by Dorothy Bendel (2/20/2015)

If Richard Linklater Filmed Me for the Next Twelve Years
by Wendi Aarons (2/20/2015)

Six Sweet Valley High Novels That Were Ghostwritten by Confucius
by Cian Cruise (2/19/2015)

Immunization Status of Magic Kingdom Celebrities
by George Estreich (2/18/2015)

Bang, Marry, or Kill: Tourist Season in Phoenix Edition
by Sarah Glady (2/17/2015)

Presidents’ Day Greeting Card MessagesUpdated
by Susan Cohen (2/16/2015)

Conversation Hearts for Single People on Valentine’s Day
by Aminata Dia (2/13/2015)

New Rules of Courtly Love
by Rachel Goodman (2/13/2015)

Fifty Shadiest Greys
by Ariana Lenarsky (2/12/2015)

Artistic Movements’ Favorite Drinking Games
by Peter Schultz (2/11/2015)

What a Straight Man’s Favorite Musical Says About Him
by Mara Wilson (2/10/2015)

White Noise or White Noise?
by Luke Burns (2/9/2015)

Everyone’s Hair in Middle School
by Jessy Randall (2/6/2015)

Thoughtful Reminders When Selecting a Fecal Microbiota Transplant Center
by Kristen Allocco (2/5/2015)

Parenting Ideologies I Use With My Spouse That Justify My Laziness/Terrible Efficacy as a Parent
by Simon Pinkerton (2/4/2015)

Gentrification Through the Ages
by A.C. DeLashmutt and Evan Allgood (2/2/2015)

Words That Could Conceivably Be Used to Describe Both the Super Bowl and a Superb Owl
by Michael Ward (1/30/2015)

I Like My Men Like I Like My…
by Sara K. Runnels (1/28/2015)

Things I’m “All About” Now That I’ve Turned 47
by Mike Zuckerman (1/27/2015)

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