Captions for Models in Knitting Catalogs
by Olivia Ciacci (3/11/2014)

The University’s Pre-Spring Break Lecture Series
by Paul Gaszak (3/7/2014)

Do You Need Pharmaceutical Assistance?
by Lemony Snicket and Lisa Brown (3/3/2014)

Almost-Adult Singles’ Grocery Lists
by Melissa Witcombe (2/26/2014)

Standard Household Measures
by John Sherman (2/19/2014)

Alternate, and Ultimately Rejected, Titles Suggested by Pat Benatar’s Record Company for Her Opus, “Love is a Battlefield” in Reverse Order of Rejection
by Gary M. Almeter (2/14/2014)

The New York Post Covers the Trial of Socrates
by Conor McKeon (2/13/2014)

Please Choose From the Following Eight Options
by Kristy Eldredge (2/12/2014)

The Sochi Tourism Board Presents: Tips and Tricks For Olympic Athletes and Fans
by Jeff Drake and Wendy Molyneux (2/7/2014)

Things That Would Look Good on Your Résumé
by Eleni Deacon (2/5/2014)

Other Subject Headings in the Susan Sontag Archive
by Ed Park (2/3/2014)

New Social Media Metrics
by Mike Ramberg (1/30/2014)

Nuclear Power Plant Idioms
by Dan Rozier (1/27/2014)

Parenting Tips I Learned from Law & Order: SVU
by Beth Levine and Liz Dancho (1/14/2014)

Remarks I’ve Heard Myself Make While Teaching Power Yoga Classes
by Catherine Browning (1/9/2014)

Benjamin Moore “First Apartment” Paint Chip Collection
by Molly Taft (1/7/2014)

New Year’s Resolutions
by Greg Wayne and Teddy Wayne (12/31/2013)

Flora and Their Corresponding Holiday Ritual Call to Action if Encountered
by Nate Dern (12/20/2013)

Lesser-Known Virtual Currencies
by Annie Wyman (12/17/2013)

Things Not to Bring to a Gunfight
by Darci Ratliff and Ian Carey (12/5/2013)

Bad Reasons to Start Writing Poetry
by Paul Gaszak (12/3/2013)

Popular Guilt Trip Destinations
by Dan Rozier (11/22/2013)

Film Noir Titles or Regrettable Lower-Back Tattoos?
by Amanda Marbais (11/20/2013)

Modern $25,000 Pyramid Answers
by Mike Zuckerman (11/14/2013)

New Balance Men’s Walking Shoe or the Year a Pope Died?
by Blair Munhofen (11/11/2013)

Honest LinkedIn Updates
by David Henne (11/6/2013)

Last Straws
by Steve Damm (10/30/2013)

Pessimistic Hair Band Anthems
by Carmen Petaccio (10/28/2013)

Place in the UK or High-Minded British Insult?
by Andrea Duty (10/23/2013)

Your Friend Made a Dubstep Album for Toddlers. How to Sound Genuine When He Plays It for You
by Nicholas Miriello (10/7/2013)

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
by Kristen Martin and Maureen Devenny (10/3/2013)

The Ultimate Small Plates Tasting Menu
by Kate Hahn (9/30/2013)

I Don’t Know About You, But This is What I’d Do If I Were 22
by Meg Thompson (9/26/2013)

Martha Stewart Paint Color or Macklemore Song?
by Sid Karger (9/20/2013)

Music Blogs
by Virgil Texas (9/18/2013)

Lyrics from a Talking Heads Song That Reminded Me of Election Night, 2008, Plus One Line I Was Reminded of More Recently
by Alex Eichler (9/11/2013)

Sources of Renewable Energy Currently Being Squandered While Awaiting Efficient Conversion Technology, Ranked by Increasing Potential
by A.C. DeLashmutt (9/4/2013)

The Canon of Frat Boy Philosophy
by Lincoln Michel (8/30/2013)

Things I Learned From Pasting My Novel Into an Online Word Count Tool
by Paolo Chianta (8/29/2013)

Shameful Plugs
by Curtis Weyant (8/21/2013)

Phrases Used to Market Bic for Her Pens or Tampax Pearl Tampons?
by Elizabeth Preston (8/19/2013)

Non-Self-Aggrandizing Author Bios
by Richard Parks (8/16/2013)

What to Expect When You’re Expecting Cthulhu
by Mari Ness (8/14/2013)

Reasons Women Aren’t Funny
by Jilly Gagnon (8/5/2013)

Alternatives to Platonic Love
by Dan Smolinsky (8/1/2013)

Study Questions Sent by My English Teacher On an E-Mail from His Wife, While They Were Going Through a Divorce
by James Slaymaker (7/25/2013)

Declarative Doobie Brothers’ Lyric or Instructional Line from a First Draft of a 1950s Hygiene Manual Written By an Angry Person Who Got Fired?
by Jeff Johnson (7/18/2013)

Places We’ll Wind Up Going This Summer Vacation
by Lora Shinn (7/3/2013)

’80s Movies if America Had Lost the Cold War
by Gemma Clarke (7/1/2013)

God’s To-Do List, Week Two
by Bob Woodiwiss (6/25/2013)

Revised Acronyms for a Changing World
by Chris Miller (6/21/2013)

Items from the New York Times’ “Meh List” or One of the Many Things I See in Front of Me Right Now?
by B.R. Cohen (6/17/2013)

Fly Fishing Fly or Cosmo-Approved Sex Position?
by Kelly Slivka (6/13/2013)

Similes of the Painfully Erudite
by WC Clowney (6/10/2013)

10 Life Lessons You Can Teach Your Child by Stacking the Deck in Candyland
by Eric Stoveken (6/6/2013)

Phrases I May or May Not Have Used in an Attempt to Teach High School English
by Olivia Ciacci (6/4/2013)

Old People’s Internet Providers
by Adam Lichtenstein (5/30/2013)

Skills I Can Offer Your Post-Apocalyptic, Nomadic Street Gang
by Jonathan Stokes (5/28/2013)

Ways to Tell If the New Student is an Undercover Cop
by Nathan Patton (5/23/2013)

Captive Audience SEO
by Edward Fairchild and Jake Swearingen (5/22/2013)

How We Bring in Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk
by Julia McCloy (5/21/2013)

One-of-a-Kind Government Positions
by Jay Wexler (5/16/2013)

Rejected Staff Suggestions for the Happy Hills Elementary School’s State Standards Test Cheer
by Chandler Dean (5/15/2013)

Pop Art Pop Tarts
by Nathan Blanchard (5/13/2013)

“This is His Coming Out Party”: Inadvertent Homoerotic Phrases Frequently Used by Hockey Commentators
by Lindsay Wiens (5/10/2013)

Discarded Lines from Robert Palmer’s 1988 Hit, “Simply Irresistible”
by Chris Clancy (5/9/2013)

NPR Program or Rihanna Song Labeled “Explicit”?
by Joe McGonegal (5/2/2013)

Titles of eHow Articles I Wrote to Pay My Rent After Grad School
by Rebecca Slaven (4/29/2013)

New Categories Describing the Condition of Used Books Sold On Amazon.com
by Sascha Cohen (4/25/2013)

Congratulations! You’re Pregnant. Helpful Tips for Your Magical Journey
by Vanessa Fiola (4/23/2013)

Other Harvards
by Mike Zuckerman (4/18/2013)

Alternatives to Alternative Medicine
by Michael O'Donnell (4/11/2013)

Dance Moves of the Philosophy Graduate Student
by Bijan Samareh (4/8/2013)

Bank Insecurity Questions
by Nick Asbury (4/4/2013)

Appropriate Jigsaw Puzzle Pictures
by Liz Arcury (4/2/2013)

Plagues of Egypt That Did Not Make the God of Abraham’s Final Cut
by David Bailey (3/28/2013)

Arguments Against Gay Marriage
by Mark Hill (3/27/2013)

Rejected Schoolhouse Rock! Songs
by Robin Higgins (3/26/2013)

An Increasingly Obvious Cry for Help in the Form of Seamless Food Delivery Special Instructions
by Michael Levy (3/21/2013)

Politically Correct Terms for Politically Incorrect Terms
by Evan Allgood (3/19/2013)

Famous Works of Literature Reimagined to Reflect America’s Present Obesity Crisis
by Al Caggforth (3/14/2013)

Ways to Keep Me Engaged While You Talk About Your Dreams
by Meg Thompson (3/12/2013)

An Updated List of Yearbook Senior Superlatives for the 21st Century
by Rachel Klein (3/5/2013)

Washington State’s New Field Sobriety Tests to Check for Driving Under the Influence of Marijuana
by Hart Rusen (2/28/2013)

More Accurate Names for the Generic Cereals Consumed While Broke and Unemployed
by Roxanne Maikranz and Sara Sabol-Maikranz (2/21/2013)

Instagram Filters Inspired by My Parents’ Reaction to Yet Another Return Home as a Single Man Who Has Still Not Enrolled In Graduate School
by Jack Loftus (2/19/2013)

Presidents’ Day Greeting Card Messages
by Susan Cohen (2/18/2013)

Some Things That are Worse Than Being Alone on Valentine’s Day
by Ali Garfinkel (2/14/2013)

Rom.coms
by Rachel Miller and Sophie Cooper (2/14/2013)

Taylor Swift’s B-Sides
by Jeremy Purser (2/11/2013)

Short Biographies of the Original Seven Astronauts of the National Trebuchet and Space Administration
by David Harnden-Warwick (2/6/2013)

Words That Could Conceivably Be Used to Describe Both the Super Bowl and a Superb Owl
by Michael Ward (2/1/2013)

Additional Myers-Briggs Personality Types
by James Hannaham (1/31/2013)

Wittgenstein Does Faulkner
by Steven D. Stark (1/24/2013)

Words That I Need for My Dissertation That Don’t Exist
by Carmen Faye Mathes (1/15/2013)

Writer Rating Categories for Madden LIT 2013
by Sam Katz (1/10/2013)

Ideas for O, The Oprah Magazine Cover Photos
by Michael Balazo (1/8/2013)

Things Highlighted in My Ninth Grade Copy of Frankenstein That Also Describe My Adolescence
by Laura Registrato (12/20/2012)

How Some Yoga Instructors Came to Their Practice
by Caitlin Kunkel (12/18/2012)

Answers to Rhetorical Questions Posed by Movie Titles
by Ethan Ryan (12/11/2012)