Eight Excuses I Have Told My Son to Use for His Failure to Hand in English Homework, Excuses I Have Learned are Acceptable During a Thirty-Year Career in Journalism, Books, and FilmNew
by Nick Hornby (2/5/2016)

Fear, Inc: Part Two: Alarmed and DangerousNew
by Susan Schorn (2/5/2016)

Women Who Should Be Pretty Pissed Off: Frankenstein’s StepsisterNew
by Amy Watkin (2/5/2016)

Weekly NFL Picks: Super Bowl 50, 2015-2016 SeasonNew
by Jeff Johnson (2/5/2016)

Amazing New Food Start-UpsNew
by Erin Somers (2/4/2016)

Fear, Inc: Part One: The MarketplaceNew
by Susan Schorn (2/4/2016)

List: Nerf Guns for WritersNew
by Jennifer Howard (2/4/2016)

Look At Me! I’m Mingling!New
by Agathe Panaretos (2/3/2016)

Rebunking Conspiracy Theories: Global WarmingNew
by Keaton Patti (2/3/2016)

List: Arts and Crafts Projects Inspired By My Breakup With SuzanneNew
by Ethan Kempsell (2/3/2016)

Walt Whitman Rides the Steamin’ Demon Rollercoaster at Six Flags
by Maxwell Cohn (2/2/2016)

Best Joke Ever: Steven Wright, Immortal King of One-liners and Literalism
by Mark Peters (2/2/2016)

Mostly Uninformative Infographics: …About Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
by Cecilia Esther Rabess (2/2/2016)

List: Six Rules Gleaned From Many Grueling Years Attempting to Write What is Apparently Unpublishable Maximalist Fiction
by Claire Rudy Foster (2/2/2016)

The Campaigns They Carried
by Shannon Reed (2/1/2016)

Inside Witnesses: One Crime’s Many Narratives: Christie Kicks Open the Emergency Door
by Marti Jonjak (2/1/2016)

List: 1970s Hits Updated for the 21st Century
by Justin Warner (2/1/2016)

And On the Eighth Day, God Created Content
by Kendra Eash (1/29/2016)

Monologue: Uncle Larry Explains the Logistics of His Primo Fanny Pack
by Matt Hobin (1/29/2016)

List: Physics Problems Written by a Professor Addicted to Tentacle Porn
by Michael Culshaw-Maurer (1/29/2016)

Ayn Rand’s Objectivist House Hunters
by Kyle Sammin (1/28/2016)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Charles Darwin and God About the Hair Sprouting From My Ears
by Russ Vandermaas-Peeler (1/28/2016)

List: Updated Party Dress Codes
by Alison Leiby and Alyssa Wolff (1/28/2016)

Please Don’t Get Murdered at School Today
by Kimberly Harrington (1/27/2016)

Monologue: The Universally Electable Vice-Presidential Candidate
by Zain Khalid (1/27/2016)

My Signed Comedy LPs: One Comedy Nerd’s Obsessive Journey: Don Rickles
by Dan Pasternack (1/27/2016)

I Raised Over $45,000 to Build an Affordable Water Desalination Machine—Here’s Why I’m Buying Twelve Hoverboards Instead
by Daniel Corkery (1/26/2016)

I Don’t Have This Job: I Am an Airport Psychic
by Joslyn Sklar and Justin Sklar (1/26/2016)

List: Movies My Roommate Watches While I’m Trying to Sleep
by Rachel Goldschmid (1/26/2016)

Sorry If My PowerPoint Presentation at Work Was Weird
by Dan Kennedy (1/25/2016)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by making a donation.