A Guide to All the JesusesNew
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A New RoadNew
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List: State Mottos You Can Say During SexNew
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Five Moms Share Fertility Tricks That Actually Worked!New
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How to Find Love: Lessons from an Old Maid: Old Maid, Dating FailNew
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List: Nihilistic Password Security QuestionsNew
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As Your Mayor, I Promise I’m Going to Find a Way Out of This WellNew
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Open Letters: An Open Letter to Recent College Grads Who Are Already Paying Their Own Phone BillsNew
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List: 21 Common Phrases that Shakespeare InventedNew
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The Tell-Tale ’Gram
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Not So Timeless After All: Mallard, May
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List: How to Compliment a Woman
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Everybody’s Invited to My All-Male, All-White Literary Panel!
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List: Exclusive Planned Community or Adult Film Performer?
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I’m Pitching Movies In a Whole New Way
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Here are the Winners of Our 2015 Column Contest
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Hungover Bear and Friends: Dress in Dreams
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List: New Activities for Sisyphus
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I’m Twenty-Something Years Old! Please Send Help!
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Home On the Range: Shooting Dirt
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List: A Brief Collection of Luis Bunuel’s Vines
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Sometimes I Have Conflicting Emotions About Having Invented the Internet
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List: Questions Not Asked During My MFA Thesis Defense
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Letters to McSweeney’s
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It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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Open Letters: An Open Letter to Pumpkin-Flavored Seasonal Treats
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826 Chicago at Pitchfork: Kittyhawk Loves the Friendly Midwest
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Werner Herzog Narrates My Life As a Graduate Student
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List: Things God Does When He Closes a Door
by Dan Neilan (9/22/2015)

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