Building Code Violations for the Love Shack.
TYPE OF ABODE:
Gathering place for social club.
- Only marker to indicate the location of the building is a sign at least 10 miles away. The sign was not installed by the county, and is not in the county-mandated colors for road signage (should be green and white, is actually hot pink and cardboard).
- Building is set farther back from the rode than necessary, and only accessible via a long driveway, which appears to be permanently blocked by a large Chrysler. Car will have to be towed before further action is taken.
- Surrounding field is unkempt.
- Overly aggressive signage (i.e. “STAY AWAY, FOOLS”) .
- Excessive oxidation of tin roof.
- Several condom wrappers and used condoms were spotted behind premises.
- Particulate matter (likely glitter, possibly ground glass) covers entryway, hallway, et cetera.
- No posted sign indicating maximum occupancy.
- Occupancy by more persons than mandated by fire code given the size of the building.
- Inadequate ventilation.
- Pervasive smell (best described as a heavy musk, or funk) throughout premises.
- Entire shack appears to be inadequately reinforced and will shimmy given intense jumping or dancing.
NOTES ON INSPECTION:
- The front door is excessively thick, which has a tendency to muffle outside speech. Inspector had to knock several times and state name and occupation in an increasingly louder voice before he was allowed entry.
- Many of the occupants were noticeably perspiring due to lack of ventilation or air conditioner, and had subsequently removed most of the their clothing.
- The only electrical outlet that could have been used for an air conditioner was instead given over to a jukebox, in possible violation of code FS-5.20: No Commercial Ventures on Public Property.
SUGGESTED COURSE OF ACTION:
Building’s owners have been notified of violations on three successive instances. As given by Infraction Code B-52, under the Section of Law CT-1989, building is to be slated for immediate demolition.
SUGGESTED READSYou Built This
by Curtis Edmonds (11/15/2010)
Let’s Listen to My Favorite Song Together
by Joe Berkowitz (9/13/2010)
Do They Know it’s Christmas After All?
by Henry Alford (1/4/2000)
RECENTLYWanted: Holiday Husband
by Julie Daniel (11/21/2014)
How to Find Love: Lessons from an Old Maid: An Unfortunate Series of Unrequited Crushes
by Connie Sun (11/21/2014)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Beloved Woolly Armpits
by Jennifer Burns (11/21/2014)
POPULARIt’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
Why You Should Not Have Broken Up With Me, According to Various Critical Theories
by Tommy Wallach (11/3/2014)
A Small-Scale Organic Farmer Wants You to Know a Few Things
by Claire Boyles (10/20/2014)