Leaked Tracklist
for Taylor Swift’s
The Tortured Poets Department

“Taylor Swift announces surprise album ‘Tortured Poets Department’ at the Grammys.” — CNN

1. “Adjunct Capacity”

2. “5-5 Courseload”

3. “The Obamacare Website Is Down Again”

4. “Workshop Poems About Dogs”

5. “Office Hours (B+ to A-)”

6. “Avoiding Students at Trader Joe’s”

7. “Encouraging Rejection (The Paris Review)”

8. “The Committee Has Reviewed Your Application, and Unfortunately…”

9. “William Carlos Williams Was a Doctor”

10. “Selling My Plasma”

11. “Rate My Professor / No Chili Pepper”

12. “Alas (Did You Read the Syllabus?)”

13. “Should I Go Back for a PhD?”