CASSIE K: FOUR FULL FEET OF FOOD!

First time to Sunny Side Day Care? Look no further than this abode — Cassie is an excellent starter host with a sparkling clean scalp, ideal for 100-3,000 lice. Very cozy and super cute — the Jojo Bows are a blast to explore! Younger brother included at no extra cost.

LULU M: BUILT IN 2015, READY FOR TODAY

Recently evicted, this out-of-the-way preschooler is perfect for a young, entrepreneurial louse-on-the-go! With dance, piano, and soccer practice, there’s opportunity to expand. New bobbed haircut adds extra flair. Don’t let this one pirouette away!

MASON O: PRISTINE!

Mason has NEVER had a haircut! This luxurious domicile includes kid-sized man bun, once-a-week cleaning service, and tiny structured wool fedora.

MASON B: THE MASON FOR THE REST OF US!

Mason O all booked? Discover his cubby-mate, Mason B! Easy transport between O and B lines via fedora/winter hat transport! Great value for the area, but note steep incline due to delivery by forceps. Not recommended for lice with weak knees.

ALLY P: PHOTOS DON’T DO THIS ONE JUSTICE!

Beautifully appointed and fully stocked five-year-old, located near the scenic Painting Corner area of Sunny Side. Slight smell of patchouli, tea tree oil, and wishful thinking from “lice prevention sprays,” but can be easily ignored for the price. Plenty of room in these pigtails for all your descendants and friends (and safe for the nits, too!) Poolside property with twice-weekly swim lessons!

MILLY L: REMARKABLE INATTENTION TO DETAIL

You’ll swoon over this “tomboy” pied-á-terre with fights-every-bathtime charm. Historic 1750s hygiene, with all the amenities a modern louse expects. A duplex unit, shared by a quiet tick (no history of Lyme).

BOBBY D: A RARE FIND

This unit’s fadeaway fringe is an organized louse’s dream! Efficient follicle layout means no wasted space. Priced to sell, this unit may go fast especially after Mason B’s sleepover.

LILY F: WORTH EVERY NIBBLE

Special touches everywhere in this single-child on Sunny Side’s west side. Charming chestnut hair with blonde accents makes louse-detection almost impossible! Lay your eggs, rest assured, that week after week you’ll go undetected as Cassie’s parents slowly lose their sanity! Art enthusiasts will gush over the scalp birthmark in the shape of a carrot.

MS. CHARLESTON: DARE TO DREAM

Itching for a challenge? Look no further than Sunny Side’s most premiere dwelling. This treasure has left an indelible mark on the classroom’s skyline. New open-floor plan from perimenopausal hair loss gives excellent views of entire classroom from a full six-feet up! Enjoy hours of feeding and breeding. The whole place is your chef’s kitchen!