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Lines of Star Wars Dialogue If Obi-Wan Kenobi Had Been Really, Really Depressed
BY GREG KNAUSS
“For more than a thousand generations the Jedi were the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy. Before the dark times. Before the Empire. Before she decided she needed to ‘find’ herself. Before I wasn’t good enough. Bitch.”
“I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. And don’t I know what that’s like.”
“The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the gala— Oh, it’s all horseshit. God.”
“If you strike me down, I shall become more grateful than you can possibly imagine.”
“Remember, the Force will be with you, always. Except when you really need it, when a little encouragement would do you some good, just a little ‘Atta boy,’ just a little gratitude. But no. Fine.”
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