What’s That Brittle Cracking Sound?
BY JASON ROSS
A monkey demolishing a rattan chair?
A mummy playing soccer?
A little girl breaking the seal on a pint of Teachers?
A man enraged by his woman’s deception stomping on the stuffed marlin from their honeymoon?
The moment that no one on the football field will ever forget?
A bear returning to the skeleton of a camper he mauled long ago and crushing the bones for marrow?
Ice cubes bursting in a gin and tonic?
Sappers in the wire?
An alien creature emerging from its encrusted egg sac?
Gary Busey wiping his nose?
SUGGESTED READSThings I Have Stolen From My Friends and Family
by Thomas Collins (1/21/2000)
Eighteen Half Truths
by Christopher Painter (2/18/2000)
The Red Wing Shoe Factory: Nine Points of Interest
by Whitney Pastorek (3/15/2000)
RECENTLYHere at Cline Family Country Cabin, We Do Things a Little Differently
by Jeremiah Tucker (10/31/2014)
Facepalm Pilot — Vijith Assar Explores Intersections of Technology and Stupidity: Are Zombies Racist?
by Vijith Assar (10/31/2014)
List: Things a Real Estate Agent Shouldn’t Say When Trying to Sell a House That Was Once at the Center of a Popular Horror Movie
by Kerreanna DiMauro (10/31/2014)
POPULARIt’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
Security Questions for Single, Childless People
by Shannon Reed (10/3/2014)
List: Boat Parts or Names of Unvaccinated Children?
by Grant Pardee (10/6/2014)