Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Words That I Need for My Dissertation That Don’t Exist.
[Originally published January 15, 2013.]
Contrapunctual – adjective – 1. Intentional belatedness with respect to poetic form; 2. My dissertation schedule with respect to my dissertation.
Hegemonkey – noun – 1. Apish answer to ideology; 2. Tree-dwelling mammal in a suit.
Insistenance – noun – 1. Food in the fridge that calls me away from my computer multiple times per day; 2. Large portions of cold, leftover pasta.
Inebriaffinated – adjective – 1. The condition in which writing may feel enjoyable; 2. Descriptive term for three o’clock in the morning on Sundays.
Notmal – adjective – 1. Not normal but also, not strange; 2. Dorothy Wordsworth’s relationship with her brother, William Wordsworth.
Onnocence – noun – 1. Naïvete about self-stimulation; 2. The Lord Byron’s opinion of John Keats’s poetry.
Parallactaid™ – noun – 1. Over-the-counter requirement for reading the complete works of Slavoj Žižek.
Portionable – adjective – 1. A considerable portion.
Perplexion – noun – 1. A knot of irresolvable affective energy; 2. A knot of irresolvable affective energy in my face.
Romantichasm – noun – 1. Metaphysical crisis; 2. What William Wordsworth saw before writing the first four stanzas of Intimations Ode.
Supostess – noun – 1. A portmanteau word… with the mostess.
Unsurety – noun – 1. Not being certain of requirements, preconditions, obligations, etc., for the undertaking of an enormous task; 2. The nature of my understanding of the guidelines for submitting a dissertation to the graduate department at my university.
SUGGESTED READSList: Dissertation Titles That Suggest the Author Was Preoccupied With Other Issues at the Time of Writing
by Zhubin Parang (10/20/2004)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Dissertation on the Correlation Between History and Identity Formation in Colonial Massachusetts and Pennsylvania
by Kyle Farley (8/9/2004)
How Glorious Our Task! Letters from a Dissertation Boot Camp
by Chantelle Messier (2/22/2013)
RECENTLYBefore You Avenge Your Father’s Death, Please Leave a Positive Yelp Review for My Secret Dojo
by Kenny Murphy (4/29/2016)
Women Who Should Be Pretty Pissed Off: Mary Blandy: The O.J. Simpson of the 18th Century
by Amy Watkin (4/29/2016)
List: Showing Them How It Feels: A TA Evaluates His Students
by Andy Holt (4/29/2016)
POPULARList: Titles of Bach Chorales, as Translated By My Niece After One Semester of German
by Nolan Bonvouloir (4/15/2016)
How to Negotiate a Raise (If You’re a Woman)
by Maura Quint (4/15/2016)
Here Are the Times I Am Typically Free to Meet
by Joe Saunders (4/18/2016)