BLUEJACKETS
Vol. 10

As any Navy man knows, MacNamara lace-making is truly a labor of love. Pulling threads from the warp of canvas takes hours of handiwork, and hitching and knotting the remaining threads into an aesthetically-pleasing, lace-like design requires conscientious fingermanship. This years handbook suggests hitching and knotting strands of small cordage (small stuff) suspended from a jackstay. The results may lack some of the rich complexity of true MacNamara, but, in a pinch, the new lace could work as a curtain for a “Soapie,” or perhaps as trimming.

Two new stain-removal techniques this year. Shine on your serge? Steam the spot by laying a wet cloth over it and pressing with a hot iron, then rub with 00 sandpaper. Chocolate candy bars? Cover the stains with borax and wash with cold water. Then pour boiling water on the stains and rub vigorously between hands. When dry, sponge with naphtha, chloroform, or benzene.

BIOMECHANICS
May 2000

In this, The Year of the Diabetic Foot, Amy B. Orecchio has one question: “Foot Screening: Why isn’t everyone doing it?” I’m afraid there are no easy answers. Not having walked a mile in the house-shoes of a diabetic senior, it is difficult to understand his hesitation to de-sock. Equally baffling is practitioner indolence. Why do practitioners not encourage patients to remove their shoes, and bear their claw toes, bunions, and charcots? Their hallux valgus angles and intractable plantar keratoses? Why? Alas, it is as the inky night.

CMEA:
The California Music Education Association
February/March 2000

Marianne Locke reports on the upcoming global CMEA conference, to be held in Sacramento, CA. The festivities will open with “The Dances of Universal Peace.” Following the Peace Dancing will be a workshop taught by Marcos Littlebird, Native Indian. Following Littlebird is a sack-lunch, and then: “African Music for the Classroom!” a two part workshop taught by David Dargie. African American, black person, scholar, truly a Jack of all trades, Dargie is also an player of traditional African instruments, like the kettle drum.

At night, Didgeridoos will play by the fires.

SHOEFIT
May 2000

Terry Winkelmann helps readers “Brush Up on Bunion Basics.” Winkelmann divides bunion-growths into three categories: The Classic Bunion, The Tailor’s Bunion, and The Dorsal Bunion.

What of the distinction between the “Classic Bunion” of an active career girl and that of a dancer “on pointe?” Not to mention that rarest of Dorsal Bunions – found in home-bound ladies and geriatrics who do not remove their lady shoes – the dreaded upper spur? Oh, and Terry, remember a little thing called the “Yellow Bunion?” It happens to be one of the most common foot deformities affecting loggers and heavy-machine operators today!

RENDER:
The National Magazine of Rendering
February 2000

Tom Genack covers recent technological advances in Grease Removal Systems Equipment (GRSE), specifically the indoor grease reservoir with outside drainpipe access. The indoor reservoir, designed for mid-sized restaurants and low-end fry operations, should all but eliminate spoilage and vermin problems. To drain it, GRSE technicians will need a rig fitted with vacuum pumps and a flowmeter – neither of which comes cheap – but any GRSE technician who’s dipsticked a vermin-infested stow will tell you it’s well worth it.

THE ART OF CUSTOMER SERVICE
Lesson 2: Achieve a Relationship

“Picture yourself walking down a path with your caller. Your journey begins when you answer the call—You start pacing your customer through matching his tone, and volume. Once you have established a rapport, you can lead your customer to a place where business is concluded successfully.”

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[May 11 Update]

THE PIPEFITTING SERIES

Lesson 1: Materials and Layout

A lot of people try to just “eye it” with end-to-end pipe measurments. This is not recommended. To correctly calculate the end-to-end measurement of a pipe, you need to take two measurements. One is the distance from the face of a fitting to its center. This is called take-out. You’ll also need to measure the distance from the fitting-face to the end of the pipe. This is called make-up. When you have these dimensions, and the center-to-center measurement, you can calculate the end-to-end length of the pipe by subtracting the make-up from the take-out, doubling, and subtracting this figure from the center-to-center measure. Now you have your end-to-end.

Of course, you’ll need to use your practical experience of different types of fittings and their joints. For example, a butt-welded fitting would have zero make-up. To find the make-up of wing elbows, you’d simply measure from the face to the shoulder.

Larger pipes are commonly cut with a torch. A torch can be used to make specialized cuts required for other welds, like the v-groove. A torch, however, does have some limitations. For example, the torch requires safety glasses.

Pop Quiz: If the bolt holes in the existing flanges won’t match those on the new piping you’re installing, which should you change: Existing piping system, or new piping?

The answer is: New Piping.

TURF: The Magazine for Turfgrass Professionals
December 1998

Editors recommend: The Pequea Machine, Inc. 1080 Trailer. It features independent suspension and a 4-foot beaver tail for reduced loading haulage angles. Optional steer models, kid-ro torsion axles, E-Z Lube hub slits, backpack blower rack, and ball and hitch fifth-wheel motor-arrangement. “Built rigid and tilt.”

Reader Don Saber test drives the new John Deere Greens mower. The mower features an 11-blade reel, an external differential drive and machine-smoothed front rollers cut from solid bar stock. Powered by a 4-hp engine, the mower’s isolation mounts and lateral bracing create a smooth ride Saber describes as “ice-skating naked on baby oil.” The mower comes in green and yellow.

SOYBEAN DIGEST
November 1998

Rob Brunoehler reports on the performance of Bt hybrid corn, “hyped” for its resistance to certain strains of borer larvae. Pioneer agronomist Jim Boersma says Bt hybrids are showing a yield advantage of 5-20 bu/acre. “You can’t predict [borer] infestations,” he says, “It’s why we recommend at least 50% Bt corn, as an insurance policy.” Nebraska Mercer adds “When you spray corn for borers, you take out beneficial insects too. I don’t like to take out the lady beetles.”

National Corn Growers of America (NCGA) President Roger Pine, Patriarch of the Pine Family, wants to keep the family running smooth. This is why he, the wife, his children and their spouses regularly attend group counseling sessions. “We want to make this a positive experience for all of us,” Pine says.

Godspeed.

BIOMECHANICS
March 2000

Barbara Boughton covers the “Long and Short of Limb-Length Discrepancy.” Limb-length discrepancies can result in abnormal gaits, joint damage, arthritis and the tendency to favor one leg over the other – putting more weight on one side. Though Kit Song, MD, does prescribe nonsurgical treatments, such as shoe lifts and flab socks, he’d rather just cut. [pure conjecture]

The Life-like Laboratory, established in 1980, has highly trained technicians and skilled artisans on-site to create silicon prostheses in 4-5 business days. Products include, but are not limited to: feet, hands, fingers, toes, facials, and myoelectrics.

THE ART OF CUSTOMER SERVICE
May 2000

As a Customer Service Representative, you will meet with one of three types of customers:

The Requesting Customer
The Confused Customer
The Difficult Customer

Outstanding customer service representatives adapt their responses, to meet the needs of the different types of customers. Customers can change from one type to another during the call.. Adapting to each type of customer requires flexibiility. The more flexibility you have as a service provider, the more effective you are.

Identify the type of customer based on the comments below:

“I’m all mixed up; I don’t understand anything.”
Answer: Confused Customer

“It’s assholes like you who make me want to hurt my kids’ animals.”
Answer: Difficult Customer

“I have a request. Can you make this stop, please?”
Answer: Requesting Customer

Remember: How you sound is just as important as what you say. Voice qualities can affect the message you send your customers. Concentrate on your voice, and also on your voice’s qualities. Fix things.

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[January-February and thereabouts]

PETS.COM
February 2000

In his Letter from the Editor, John Hollon announces partnership between pet advice columnist Dr. Pete Keesling and Petplace.com. Hollon has made a name for himself pulling off this sort of odd-coupling, but still I worry. How long will “Dr. Pete’s” rockstar posturings survive the Shawn-era atmosphere over at Petplace.com? And when his antics die, which they inevitably must, will anyone care?

Gary Pfitzer nabs the cover with Bacon Brothers interview. Bacon brother Michael says: “[My pet dog Jerry] loves to carry shoes. But he never chews them.” And “I think a beautiful little [dog coat] would be great because the winter is coming: plaid with little gold buckles on it.” And “I’m also a trained composer.” Bacon brother Kevin Bacon is charming as ever, and does not say the word "little.’

CHEMICAL WEEK
January 12, 2000

In the Project News Sheet, Chemical Week reports on Nova Chemicals’ plans to build Trinidad’s first ethalene complex. The project coordinators have approved construction of an ethane cracker, despite widespread anti-cracker sentiments amongst ethalene industry radio pundits. To review: output of polyethalene rarely reaches cracker nameplate capacity, and cracker styrenics units are virtually guaranteed to admix inorganic bromides during the latter stages of terephthalate resin production.

CONTEMPORARY LONG TERM CARE
January 2000

Kathleen Wereszynski covers a Harvard study on the impact of age-related stereotypes in the Elderly. Study participants were divided into two groups and asked to play a computer toy. During play, Elderly Group A saw positive stimulus words (“wise,” “accomplished”), while Elderly Group B faced the bitter truth (“senile,” “dependent”). Group A showed a 9% increase in Walking Times and a marginal Swing Time increase.

Sam Adler reports from AAHSA Annual Meeting and Expo where Ramesh Chandra Sethi of Senior Citizens Home and Services in Bombay — AAHSA’s premier Indian satellite — plans to “learn about facilities, trends, and care — and then Indianize.”

SOYBEAN MEAL INFO SOURCE
April 1999

Researchers at Kansas State University compared a swine diet of regular cornfeed to one of soybean oil-enriched cornfeed. The fat-enriched feed increased belly firmness scores and backfat thicknesses in 5000 Pink-Point Weanlings. Data did not indicate loss in weanling dressing percents, loin cooking returns, backfat firmnesses, or carcass quality.

ROAD KING
January-February 2000

This month’s "Rig Report’ features a customized W9000L Kenworth 500-hp Detroit Deisel 13-speed transmission road tractor with 86-inch studio sleeper (in red oak), and 1500-watt inverter-powered TV, VCR, fridge and microwave. Says staff writer Bill Hudgins, “It gleams sharply white in the sunshine, with purple and blue accents that fairly glow.”

Fact: After two knee replacements, Bonnie Hughston no longer performs horse tricks.

ATLANTICA, IN-FLIGHT MAGAZINE
January-February 2000

Sigurdur Hegelson, President & CEO of IcelandAir, jokes: “IcelandAir has one of the best on-time records of European airlines.” Quips like these have made Sigurdur a hot item in Eglisstadir literary circles. The magic lies in the bellow-the-surface awkwardness of Sigurdur’s English (which he deliberately plays up), and in his knack for revifying upper-Nordic clichés. e.g. Gloating over minor achievements; making light of Polish ways; chewing with an open mouth, all those Iceland tricks.

SUPERMARKET BUSINESS
December 1999

In this month’s Major Matters, Meg Major delivers yet another high-concept invective: "Antidotes to Success.’ Meg writes “Don’t ensure product mix—you want to make sure customers will never be able to locate signature items in you store,” and “be sure to offer inconsistent quality, pricing, and variety.” NB: Meg is being sarcastic.

The premise of this month’s "On the Other Hand,’ is far-reaching, and Ken Patch’s writer arms are, shall we say, short and addled. In his “flight of fancy,” Patch serves up fictional Michael Cullen’s attempts to stock his supermarket through Priceline.com. As you can imagine, the dialogue suffers greatly the weight of Patch’s luddite politics. When the muse knelt in Patch’s ear and encouraged him to follow his heart, to trust the shapeliness of his imagination, Patch was too busy thinking groceries, money, career. Now he wants those halcyon whisperings back like so many attention-getting menu board and signage packages. I feel for Patch.

FOUNDATION
Fall 1999

LT Barrett Beard, USCG (Ret.) reports on the “bombing” of Port Angeles orchestrated by LT Donald B. MacDiarmid, Coast Guard Commander. “Captain Mac,” known for frustration with his underlings’ “lack of horse sense,” and for his prodigious letter-writing skills (he sent daily missives to his superiors requesting “combat duty, of any kind.”) judged Port Angeles’ attack-readiness sub-par. Therefore, he poured shallow puddles of gasoline around the station, and had co-conspirators Morgan and Merrill hide the recruits’ ammunition. Early the next morning, Captain Mac took off in his jalopy and circled the base at low altitude. This was Morgan’s cue. Morgan began to throw sticks of dynamite into the Port, while Merrill lit gasoline puddles on fire. As Beard puts it, “men came tumbling out [the barracks] through doors and windows, carrying their empty rifles and dashing into air raid trenches.” One sailor kept a single bullet in his pocket, for emergencies. This prescient sailor’s rifle accidentally fired when he fell into the air raid trench. The bullet harmed no one, and Captain Mac proved his point.