When word first got out that they were making a Wonder Woman movie, it was obviously a cause for concern. Another female superhero movie? Enough already! First 1996’s Matilda and now this? The feminists are out of control!
Does a female superhero really need a whole movie? After all, women already consistently play important roles in superhero movies. Think of Lois Lane, Female Gala Attendee, or Thor from behind, for example.
And then I heard it was also going to be directed by a woman, which was even more troubling. I assumed that maybe Nancy Meyers would direct and tell the story of a small-town Amazonian princess who falls in love with a rugged yet charming shop owner, played by Chris Pine, and they move to the Hamptons to open a bakery. But as it turns out that’s not even close.
It’s about Wonder Woman’s fight to end World War I, and was directed by Patty Jenkins. The last movie Patty Jenkins directed was about a female serial killer who murdered a bunch of men in the ‘80s, so Wonder Woman is coming from someone with experience helming anti-male propaganda films.
So how could it get any worse, you might ask. Does Wonder Woman try to run for president? Make choices about her own body? Wear pants? No, even worse. They started having female-only screenings of the film at movie theaters across the country, continuing the unfortunate pattern of men being the most marginalized and excluded group in society.
What are men supposed to do now that they’ve been excluded from seeing this film at certain times on certain days in certain theaters in certain cities? After a long day of writing legislation on women’s reproductive health, benefiting from income inequality, and defunding Planned Parenthood, men should be able to unwind with any movie they choose.
After getting over the initial shock of experiencing sexism in its truest form, one begins to wonder why these screenings are happening in the first place. After much thought it became abundantly clear that they were radicalizing women to organize an anti-male uprising and take over the world. But just what kind of training was happening at these screenings?
It’s fair to assume that women across the country are being corrupted into extremists and are being taught how to fly invisible jets and deflect bullets with their wrists. They’re piecing together a strategy for world domination one Wonder Woman screening at a time, and soon enough there won’t be any men in movies anymore. How will men be able to enjoy films or relate to characters then? Feeling represented by the characters on screen is incredibly important and it’s something that feminists are trying to take away from men.
The end goal of this radicalization is surely to create a reverse Handmaid’s Tale world in which men are oppressed, used for reproductive purposes only, and are forced to wear bonnets.