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Articles by
Tom Smyth
Tom Smyth is a writer from New York. His writing has previously appeared in the thank you notes from his high school graduation party. He enjoys reading, watching television, and writing about himself in the third person.
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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December 21, 2020The Nativity Pageant Cast List That Ensures Every Child Has a Role
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November 4, 2020We Must Stop Democrats From Stealing This Election by Trying to Count Votes
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June 9, 2020Billy Joel’s “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant That Closed Due to Coronavirus”
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May 4, 2020I Keep Checking My Mailbox for My Stimulus Check, But I’m Only Getting Time-Traveling Letters from Keanu Reeves in The Lake House
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December 30, 2019I Don’t Think a Woman Is Electable In 2020 Because Last Time Around the Female Nominee Only Got Three Million More Votes Than Her Opponent
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September 16, 2019“Cancel Culture” Is Dangerous Because Everybody Deserves Redemption and the Right to Work, Except Actresses Who Turn 40
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November 15, 2018I Haven’t Even Started Thinking About Running for President in 2020, Despite What Those Campaign Buttons I Made Might Suggest
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July 17, 2018Donald Trump Reinterprets Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides, Now”
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February 28, 2018Billy Joel Plays “Piano Man” for the First Time At the Bar He Based the Song On
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September 20, 2017Other Elton John Songs That Donald Trump Uses to Refer to World Leaders
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August 16, 2017Here at Fox News We Have No News to Report, So Enjoy These Images of Tropical Fish
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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January 20, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056 -
January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
Recently
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January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
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January 22, 2021Eight Famous Poems Rewritten by Your Asshole Cat
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January 22, 2021Now That I Am Old Enough to Enroll in Medicare, I Am Against Socialized Medicine
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January 21, 2021I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He’d Immediately Implement Communist Rule