Growing up, we lived four houses away from Gergen. When Gergen drove by on the way to play golf, my dad said, “Look son! There he goes! That’s Gergen!”

We had a barbeque one day in July, but not the Fourth of July. Gergen goes somewhere else on the Fourth of July. And Gergen came to our barbeque!

Gergen showed up with potato salad, even though my dad had suggested that he bring booze. We had a pool running on what kind of booze Gergen might bring, and I bet my brother fifty cents that Gergen wouldn’t show at all. I knew Gergen was too grand for us. But Gergen came! He brought potato salad, but we were just so happy he showed up. He wore a Hawaiian shirt. He had a middle aged woman with enormous breasts in tow.

My dad was so plastered! There was a hairy buffalo, which is all kinds of booze mixed together. Whatever anybody brings is mixed together in a big bowl. That’s a hairy buffalo. My dad said to Gergen, “hey, I’ll take her, you take her.” He meant he should fuck the middle aged woman with big breasts and Gergen could fuck mom. My brother and I said, “Go mom! Here’s your big chance! Fuck Gergen!”

I had double or nothing that Mom would go for it.