1. In a skillet or saucepan, heat two tablespoons of Joya brand olive oil. Add 3-4 Chicken pieces.
2. In a highball glass, place 2-3 ice cubes, four fingers of scotch.
3. Add rice and seasoning packet, stir. With free hand, drink scotch.
4. As yellow powder stains chicken, remember the conical piles of spices in the Moroccan souk.
5. Still stirring, recall soon-to-be-ex-wife, who was back at the hotel, puking from food poisoning, while a merchant placed a chameleon in your palm.
6. Remember disappointment when its color remained watery green, like mint tea.
7. Flip chicken pieces. Reduce heat to simmer.
8. Add 1-2 fingers of scotch to highball glass.
9. Light cigarette. Sit in darkened living room. Listen to soft sizzling from pan.
10. When smoke alarm sounds, throw cigarette in sink. Remove chicken from burner, battery from smoke alarm.
11. Place unburned chicken bits and yellow rice clumps on plate. Garnish with green peas, Joya brand pimento strips.