Once there was a man named Philip Games who was in love with an attractive young woman. In fact, you could say she was a VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, SWEET with a SLIM BUILD. She had one peculiar trait, however: she always wore a black velvet ribbon around her neck and was never seen without it. One day Games asked her to marry him. She said yes immediately as she was MARRIAGE-MINDED. “I’ll marry you on one condition,” she said. “Never touch the ribbon I wear around my neck.” He agreed to this seemingly insignificant concern and they were man and wife. Time went on and Games was very happy with his bride. She was a GOOD COOK, she liked CANDLELIGHT DINNERS and WALKS ON THE BEACH. Yet, every so often the question of the ribbon would nag at him, as he lay close to her, CUDDLING DURING RAINY NIGHTS. Many years passed. Finally Games couldn’t take it any longer; something in him snapped after the couple returned from a night of DISCO DANCING. Games waited until his wife was asleep, then crept out of bed to the kitchen. He got a pair of scissors from the drawer and returned to his bedroom. He flicked on the light and sat down on the edge of the bed. His wife shifted a little but did not awaken. She wasn’t a particularly SENSITIVE sleeper. He slid the blade of the scissors underneath the ribbon and held it there, then in one SPONTANEOUS motion, sliced it through. All at once, his wife opened her mouth wide and screamed at an ear-shattering volume. Her head tumbled off and rolled on the floor at the feet of the horrified man. “Now look what you’ve done!” she shouted. The head having RECENTLY SEPARATED from the body now rolled around laughing at him. The woman always had a GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR. Games ran outside in terror. The townspeople were SEEKING Games, a TALL, DARK, SEXY MAN for days. When the townspeople searched his house they found no trace of his wife or her head, only the black velvet ribbon crumpled upon the floor. Neighbors finally found Games some days later, huddled at the base of a tree, now a complete and utter madman repeating the same thing over and over to himself. His wife had NO HEAD-GAMES kept muttering, his wife had no head.
January 4, 2004