They Might Be Standing on an Incline
They Might Be Suffering From Pituitary Gigantism
They Might Be Purchasing HGH Online Through Black-Market Websites
They Might Be Wearing Lifts
They Might Be the Recipients of Unusually Poofy Haircuts
As little as $1 a month ($12 a year!) goes a long way towards supporting our editorial staff and contributors while keeping us ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.