We were blown away this year, yet again, by the quantity and quality of the submissions—over 800 of them. After much deliberation, we’re excited to announce the five winning columns. They are, in random order:

Field Notes from Gentrified Places
by Vinson Cunningham

How to Find Love: Lessons from an Old Maid
by Connie Sun

Home On the Range
by Robert Lawrence

Not So Timeless After All
by Ilana Masad

@thereal_saintfrancis
by Rachel and Nick Farrell

Each winner will receive a $500 prize. Look for these columns to launch in the coming weeks.

We are also pleased to announce our Column Contest honorable mentions. Both of these writers will be regular contributors to our virtual pages this year:

Your Prescribing Doctor: Dispatches from the Psychopharmaceutical Complex
by Rebekah Frumkin

The Hidden Rich
by Jane Dough

Thanks to all who entered! We’ll be back with the 7th Annual Column Contest around this time next year. Follow us on Twitter (@McSweeneys) for updates and alerts.